"A Kick in the Assets" suggests finding out the values that really motivate you, rather than trying to fulfill your emotional needs by guessing.
And that makes sense.
The exercise is to make a list of your top ten values, carry it around with you, and match up your life choices with those values. Take pride in every time you work out, because your value is health, rather than just taking pride in losing the last 10 lbs. It makes sense.
Suggestions that the author makes: Freedom, Security, Honesty, Intelligence, Adventure, Learning, Resourcefulness, and about 34 others.
I'm looking at the list and trying to narrow down my top 10. If this will help me make better choices, then it's worth the time.
Love is a huge one. I want the people I love to know that I love them and to be secure in their love in return.
Relationships is another. I spend the majority of my "happy" time with other people. I love having a small group over for supper and conversation. Board games and card games could happen most nights out of the week. I like spending time with people and getting to know them.
Health... this is a huge one right now. I'm not that old and I feel like I'm falling apart. Health is my 2010 focus.
Creativity gives me a big kick. I love figuring out how to get the best deal, solving a problem, building something new, or making a piece of art for someone.
Thus far: Love, Relationships, Health, Creativity. Six more to go.
Learning should be on the list. I'm an information-gatherer. I like to take millions of bits of random knowledge, put them in the blender, and see what comes out. If I could be a professional student, that would be awesome. If I got paid for every class I got an A in and successfully completed I'd be thrilled.
Communication is a huge part of relationships, but it's important on its own as well.
Security never used to really be on the list, at least not consciously, but now that I'm aware of what that means to me it's quite a big one. Having my husband laid off two weeks before I gave birth made me realize how important this is. Owning our own home for the first time gives it new meaning.
Humor... a day without laughter is a bad day. I love making people laugh and laughing with them.
Confidence is something that I lack and I strive for. Conquering a challenging task and gaining that extra bit of confidence makes me feel like a million bucks. I would like to intentionally build my confidence.
Passion is important. That sense of "Oh my god I'm so excited about..." is thrilling and needs to come around more often in my life. I feel charged up for days when something excites me. Passion in the romantic sense is important as well.
My top 10:
I'm looking at this and wondering about whether that covers it. I have to feel useful in my relationships, so would that be a separate thing? I like to hold doors for people, give an ear to the stranger at the coffee shop, help the tourist find their way around. With friends I like to help with projects, connect them to someone else I know that can help, and so forth.
So which would I take away to add "being useful"? Also, I hate feeling obligated. I like to be generous but not feel taken advantage of. Those tie in to the being useful.
Could these all be manifestations of love? Showing someone that they are worth loving, worth taking time out for, and worth helping? That sounds like love to me.
Barnhart suggests taking that list and ordering them by importance. I think I want to sit on this for awhile before I take that next step.
Once I order them from 1-10 I need to make my wish list.
Four questions revolving around things I would like to DO, HAVE, SEE, and EXPERIENCE for each category. The author says that the more specific I can get, the better.