Getting things in order

Things are starting to fall into place. I still haven't heard from the paralegal about what else she might need (hopefully nothing). Aside from not knowing when my next lawyer meeting will be, and thus being able to go ahead and officially file for Chapter 7, things are going well.

I've made excellent progress at the chiropractor and am in much less pain. I've caught up with most of my healthcare visits (dentist, well-woman, etc.) and am collecting my bloodwork results as they come in. We've reorganized parts of the house and it's much cleaner, calmer, and more open.

All in all the stress is reducing every day a little bit more.

It's happening again

Every once in awhile I come across a life obstacle that makes me behave differently. There is a holding pattern that happens. I realize it, curse at it a bit, forget about it for a few days, and then face it again, kicking and screaming.

The most notable time that this happened was when we were trying, and failing, to get pregnant. I didn't want to do certain things because I was going to get pregnant soon. Months later I'd be mad at myself for not being in better shape or not having flattering clothes, but surely I'd be pregnant next month, right? I'd hate to cause myself to miscarry (a very uninformed fear I had at the time) or spend money on nice clothes that wouldn't fit.

Now the bankruptcy is causing this holding pattern. Nothing feels "real" to me right now. Although nothing will change. On paper I'll be debt-free (except for student loans) and have a credit score few would envy. In my day-to-day life, however, very little is going to be different.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to use this as an opportunity to start fresh rather than be on hold.

Post Labels

You may notice that all of my posts thus far are tagged "before we filed".

This is because my intention is to allow readers to easily find posts from before we filed, during the bankruptcy process, and after the discharge.

Today, Today, Today

Yikes.

A/C guys just came. I hired them for the $28 duct cleaning special (with free dryer vent cleaning). Our A/C desperately needs cleaned and I thought this would be a good stop-gap measure until we had the money to do so.

August 09 we bought this house and had the A/C inspected. There's mold, dust, and general gunk in the handler. Cost to disassemble and clean everything is around $700.

Guys showed up today. Told me that I should save my $28 because it was so bad as soon as the a/c turned back on... it would pretty much be a waste of money.

And then, "you really need to take care of this, ma'am."

"I know."

"Do you want to see this for yourself?"

"I know. I saw in August."

"Why haven't you done anything about it?"

"I don't have money."

"What's your budget."

"Look, I'm filing for bankruptcy. There's no money. I'm sick all the time and it's frustrating as hell."

He understood. The second guy came back up and took a look. "Oh my god. This is awful. You really need to do something about this."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"No money."

"Doesn't your husband have a job, ma'am?"

So I repeated that I was filing for bankruptcy.

"Are you keeping the house or what?"

"We just bought it. It was a foreclosure. We're keeping it. But we had to make choices like keeping the kitchen sink from exploding versus cleaning the A/C. Guess which we picked."

They wrote me an estimate, were very polite, and headed out.

Damnit.

About $700.

I know they're not pulling my chain. I've seen it. And I'm allergic to dust and have asthma and we've all been sick. But it's one more thing we need to take care of.

So my plan?

I'm tracking down videos on youtube and tutorials on DIY sites to see if we can do this ourselves. Failing that, I'm going to ask my best friend who's now a VP but used to be an A/C tech a lifetime ago if he might be able to help.

How do I feel?

They were very nice, but I felt defensive. I told them about the bankruptcy just to shut them up. I feel bad that I've known about this for seven months and haven't taken care of it. I feel bad that I have an almost-70 year-old in my house in poor health, and a toddler, and the two of us, both who have asthma and allergies, and I've not made it a priority.

Grr. Today's a rough day.

What to tell our daughter

I'm currently reading How To Raise Financially Fit Kids.

It's made me think about something.

When our daughter is older, how much do we tell her about our bankruptcy?

She won't know any different, being 2, but eventually the topic might come up.

Should it be part of her financial education? I believe, wholeheartedly, that the only purpose of an allowance is to teach her about money. It's not a reward, a bribe, or something she deserves. It's a teaching tool.

I want her to be much more financially literate than I was.

It's odd, really. I can see how my parents would have assumed that I was financially literate. After all, I've had a job since I was 14 years old. I was excellent at saving money for things I really wanted even when I was only 6. (I paid cash for a Gameboy, $99 back in the mid-80's, that I had saved up all by myself.)

I knew how to balance a checkbook. I knew how to put money in my savings account.

But what I didn't know was how to use credit.

I also didn't know about compound interest. I would like to have learned about that long ago and used it to my advantage rather than becoming a victim of it.

(Sidenote: A salesperson I used to work for once tried to explain compound interest to me when I was 20 in relation to retirement savings. I nodded and let my eyes glaze over as I wondered how many highlighters one man really needed. Why didn't I pay attention? Grr.)

I don't blame my parents. I'm just not surprised that I ended up in a situation very similar to where my father was before he died. (The same situation that led him and my mother to bankruptcy.)

I'm agreeing with the concept list in HTRFFK. It's a nice idea for various targets and goals to cover with kids. The book also suggests ways to do this for different ages. I'm going to make my own list.

Back to the topic at hand, however. Do I tell her about the bankruptcy?

I believe in being honest with kids. I want her to know that there are consequences to abusing credit and not being realistic about your situation. I want her to see that people can recover from the bottom of the barrel financially. I want her to know that mommy and daddy can admit they made a mistake and ask for help. That a strong marriage makes it through the toughest of times by supporting each other rather than turning against each other.

I don't want her to throw it in our faces, spread the word around to her friends (and their parents) or otherwise abuse the knowledge like most teenagers are wont to do.

Of course, no one says we have to tell her as a teenager.

Hmm. Would you tell your children about your bankruptcy?

Spending Money

Because we're living paycheck to paycheck, we have ignored so many things that we actually need. I haven't had a chance to stock up as much, we've stretched out the time between replacing things that are worn out (A/C filter and toothbrush heads come to mind), and have otherwise been unable to spend much.

On the date that we file, any money that we have in our bank account is potential fair game for the trustee. Once the bankruptcy has been electronically filed, we can start saving again. Until then, however, we have a few things to spend. And that means we can catch up!!!

We had a very small amount in savings ($600), $159 of which went to the CPA. That leaves $440 or so. We're getting about $200 more than we need to file Chapter 7 from our tax return (excuse me, refund). And, because we won't be paying credit cards, we'll have about $600.

I am so excited!

My plans:

- Pay off the remaining six-month car insurance policy balance so that will free up $108 a month from now until June.
- Get both my and hubby's teeth cleaned and examined.
- If possible, fill some cavities.
- Replace the air filter in my air purifier (long overdue) and the filter in my vacuum cleaner (years overdue), and the A/C filter with a washable one so we can stop throwing money after it.
- Stock up on diapers and wipes and have a spare tube of toothpaste and deodorant and other items around. Hopefully I can match up some coupons and sales.
- Replace hubby's falling-apart undies and socks.
- Get my epi-pen filled (nut allergy).
- Oil changes for both cars.

I'm also going to spend a little more at the grocery store so that we have some food in the chest freezer and pantry. I made out pretty well at Publix's Italian Sale, but I'd like something other than canned tomatoes and tuna fish around, you know?

It feels weird not to try and hold onto every penny, but we can either get caught up on our needs or hand the money over to the trustee.

Moved Appointment

I moved my appointment with the CPA from mid-March to this coming Monday. Why? So I can get my tax refund faster and pay the lawyer to file that much quicker.

It wasn't hard. The CPA is very busy but I told the appointment maker that I needed to get my refund faster. I mentioned I had a deductible to meet and had to have laproscopic surgery.

Which is true. The first few months after I'm no longer required to make the $600+/month payments I'll be setting aside my $2500 deductible.

I had honestly considered doing the surgery this month, setting up a payment plan, waiting a little longer to file and then... get thrown into jail for fraud. I can't take on a new debt knowing I won't be able to pay it.

So, instead, like everything else in my life, I'll have to wait until I can pay cash.