60-Day Club!

I'm sitting here, on my couch, slightly stunned. I was so busy taking care of my kiddo today that it hasn't really had time to sink in... it's over. The big, huge, scary event that I've been terrified of for months is now a part of my past.

The drive up to the court in Tampa was a pain. I hate Tampa. Always have. I was armed with directions and a good idea of what it should look like. I'd been there with my mom in 2005 and I'd looked at the street view on Google maps. I was set.

Except... there was a ton of construction. Nothing looked familiar. The only thing I recognized from Google was the building with the above-road walkway thing. (Luckily, this was where I needed to go.)

I called my lawyers office. Voice mail. Damnit. I called again and hit 0 instead of the extension option. The lady that answered was super nice and very helpful. She gave me some ideas of where to look for parking and, finally, I found a metered space that was open.

I pulled in without any damage to my car or the cars around me. (I'm not very confident with my parallel parking skills. Luckily, Tampa has generous spaces!) I got the stroller out, the diaper supplies out, the toys out, and finally, got my daughter situated.

When I went to Publix the other day I got lots of $1s for the various tolls. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought to get quarters. The parking meters ONLY take quarters. And it's $1.50 per HOUR! Holy cow! I had just enough for an hour and a half and crossed my fingers that it would work out. (Side note: the town I live in does not have metered parking.)

We walked the four or five blocks to the courthouse. I'm so very grateful that I've been working on my direction sense. It's normally terrible. I figured out how to get there with no problems, even though I had to detour an extra block due to a sidewalk being closed.

There wasn't any line for security. Which was awesome, because I am clueless about that kind of thing. I had to show my photo ID, empty my pockets, unload the stroller, push her through, then go back through myself, answer questions about the contents of my purse (I have an epi-pen, which apparently got flagged as they asked about it), let them examine the stroller and it's storage areas, and then recollect all my stuff.

We hit the bathroom and then headed to the courtroom. In 2005 my mom was in the room directly across from where we went, so it was a little deja-vu like. We waited in the back. The kiddo was amazing. I mean I could not have asked her to be any better than she was. I am so very proud. (Another side note: she spiked a fever of over 102 degrees last night and was still feverish this morning w/o meds. She felt okay after Motrin kicked in, but without it was miserable.)

I watched a few cases as best I could. No one was assigned a home visit from an appraiser, which surprised me as I was terrified it would happen. Apparently MDFL is appraisal-happy according to what I've read on www.bkforum.com. The trustee was respectful. He seemed to have a little less patience for people who were wishy-washy or putting on a "poor me" show. Yet when one lady genuinely bust into tears, he was very compassionate (still in a professional kinda way).

The lawyer showed up and popped his head in, called my name softly, and then helped me get the stroller out into the main area and into a conference area. Babygirl got out and shook his hand and then was silly for a few minutes. I'm so very glad we had this time because when my mom got called up she had no idea where her lawyer was; she didn't recognize her! It was very reassuring to have talked to him beforehand.

He gave me the following advice:

- Answer all questions honestly and completely. Then shut up.
- Do not offer ANY information that's not asked for.
- Speak clearly and with authority. Give short answers.

Then he told me a few questions that the trustee might ask. (There's a really great list of these somewhere on the internet... I should find it and link to it.)

Then we went back into the room. He said we should sit up front so that the trustee would more likely call us next.

We watched one case together. At one point he leaned over and whispered, "this is exactly how not to answer questions." The lady was wishy-washy about everything. "Did you read the form that explains the difference between the types of bankruptcies?" "I think so. I'm not sure. If I did I think I read it online and not a paper handout. I'm not sure."

We got called next. My daughter was very good and he was kind to her.

I handed him my FL driver's license and my SS card. He read both. "This is case number ... with filer ... ." He swore me in. "I have in front of me .... with her DL and SS card. Please state your name and address for the record."

I did.

"No creditors are present."

He looked at my paperwork. To my surprise he asked me the least questions of anyone. He didn't ask why I had filed bankruptcy or why my husband wasn't filing with me. He confirmed the car I owned and then basically asked me if the form was complete (yes, sir), had I listed all my assets (yes, sir), did I read it before signing it (yes, sir), and so forth.

The only non-everybody question he asked me was about my business. "I see here you used to have interest in a business."

"Yes, sir."

"Are there assets remaining?"

"Yes, sir. They are listed in my paperwork."

"Could you give me an idea of what kind of assets those are?"

"A massage table and some facial equipment."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

My lawyer interjected that it was a very small business and made a few other comments along the same lines. The trustee nodded at him and looked again at my petition then moved on.

"This concludes the meeting of creditors."

If my kid hadn't been with me and been slightly distracting, I would have been done in under five minutes. It probably took ten with her.

I met with the lawyer again. He told me that they (the creditors) had a certain time period to object. He said, "they can't just say, 'hey, we don't like this!' there are only a few cases they can report against you." Then he asked if I had committed fraud, transfer of assets, etc., to which I answered no. He told me that I should get my letter of discharge in approximately 90 days and wished me luck.

We stopped at a play place in St. Pete and had lunch while we were there. She was feeling pretty good (I had re-Motrined her before we got called) and had the energy to play. It probably wasn't the best mommy move, but I needed fun and she had been SO good in the courtroom.

Then we had a long drive home. It still hadn't hit me. I talked with my mom and reassured her that she hadn't even come up in the conversation. She was greatly relieved. I'm so glad that she's supportive of me; after all, she's been through this too.

So now I'm a member of the 60-day club. Woo!

More filing thoughts

I came home the other day feeling shaky and nauseated. I really wasn't ready to write about things and wanted to take a few days to process.

I think it comes down to the fact that every attorney, even if board certified in the same area, will have differing opinions based on their own experience with clients and trustees. What they both told me might be equally true. He made a good point, "it's ridiculous that how you do something is more important than the end result or the intention."

When my name was removed from my mother's account I "gave up my right to half of what was in the account on the day it was removed". Which means that I gave up quite a bit of money, and the fact that she spent it on other things doesn't mean a whole lot.

That said, they can't exactly go after her. They can, but because all that's in her account are her social security funds she's basically "judgment proof".

She should have written a check to herself for all but $20 in that account, opened a new account elsewhere, and then took my name off. I'd be "giving up" $10.

I discovered I'm under $1000, which is the FL allowed amount. (I also found out this amount was written into the state law years and years and years ago and that it's not been updated.) Prior to updating a few things on the list I was just a tad over, but now I'll be filing no asset.  Yay!

Likely they will not send someone to the house, he said, because it costs them to do so and chances are there's nothing about me that will set off the "I bet she's hiding a lot of stuff I could sell!" radar. It's not guaranteed, but he can't see why they would.

I had to claim 1/2 of everything we own jointly. It was my understanding that they could not take anything that we own jointly except up to the amount of joint debts, of which we don't have any. This is true, if they use a particular part of law that makes those items property of the marriage. He said that if I went over the $1000 then we'd invoke that, but if it's only $995, why draw attention and have it possibly challenged?

I felt like this guy was really competent. He'll be at my 341 meeting, and I feel like he'll do a good job.

I also paid the final $299, which was for the filing fee. My bankruptcy is officially 100% paid in full.

Final Paperwork

I met with the lawyer who will be at my 341 meeting. We went over every piece of paper piece-by-piece, talked about some possible complications (namely mom), and I signed and dated many times.

There were a few changes that needed to be made (which annoyed me--the paralegal had weeks to look over my very detailed paperwork and double-check her work) but nothing huge. He'll take it back to his main office, make the changes, and then file electronically either tomorrow, Thursday, or Friday.

I'll receive a notification from them and one from the state with a court date.


I have more thoughts, but I don't have time to get them down right now.

Finally! A Date!

After another longish period of time reviewing my paperwork, I have finally been given a date to meet with the other attorney and file. Yay!

Waiting... Still waiting...

Ack. This is taking sooooo long.

I sent hubby to work last week with the stack of paperwork we needed. (The paralegal never responded to the email asking what would suffice since what she asked for doesn't exist.) He scanned it, sent me the PDF, and then I sent it to the paralegal. She confirmed receipt the same day and said she just needed to go through my paperwork one more time and then set a date for me to meet with the attorney again.

*tapping fingers on table*

*sighs*

Okay... any day now. Right? I can finally file, worry about the 341 meeting, and then join the 60 day club, and then be free from these bills?

Waiting

I heard from the lawyer's office last week on Thursday with a request for more documentation.

I replied, stating that some of it was not possible to provide, and clarifying what would be needed for others.

On Friday she replied. My paralegal would be out of the office until Monday. She'd forward my questions.

I still haven't heard.

I think I'm going to go ahead and get together what common sense tells me will be the most likely to be accepted items.

One request was for January and February bank statements for the new bank account. Well, we opened it in March, so those don't exist. That one's easy.

However, to prove we get a monthly gift from my mom... what do we need? I'm going to write a letter "from" her, print it out, and have her sign it.

They requested disability statements for the six months. Well, we don't get those. What we do get is a yearly benefit statement. I can copy that.

The last one was for a few extra pay stubs, which is easy-peasy.

I feel like the ball is in my court and that I'm the one holding everything up. I just don't want to do/send the wrong thing and delay further. It's a little stressful compared to when I'd given my big ol' stack of everything. That was a weight off my shoulders.

Nudge

I sent my attorney-assigned paralegal a "helpful" email asking if there is anything she needs or if I can help in any way. I was advised to "nudge" her this way, to be polite and helpful, and to do so about once a week.

Hopefully I'll be able to officially file within the next few weeks!

Paperwork Submitted

On Sunday I did the "collect all the misc. paperwork the forms ask for" dance and the "double check to make sure I didn't miss anything" boogie.

Today I brought a huge stack of papers to the lawyer.

He said he was impressed that I had done all that in a week and that it was so organized and thorough.

Unfortunately the paralegal appears to be a little busier now and it will take 2-3 weeks just to get everything entered into the computer. Then I have to do the final review and sign the forms, which requires an appointment with the other lawyer who's only in town one day a week, sometimes two.

*sighs*

I had really hoped to hit the end of April. Now it looks like we'll file just before the first paycheck of May, probably around the 14th. (Hubby gets paid last day of the month and the 15th; disability hits on the first.)  I'm not happy that I'll be 60 days late with my accounts. I had really hoped to be 30 days late and file just prior to the 60 day mark.

He suggested that I sent a "helpful" email to the paralegal in about a week. Does she have everything she needs? Is there anything else she's found that I can send to her? He said to do that once in a week and again in another. "Squeaky wheel gets all the attention, but you'll be a nice squeaky wheel," he said. Hopefully I gave everything they need and we can get this done more quickly.

I found out that if my husband opens a savings account in his name only he can save part of his paycheck by having it direct deposited into that account. Since it's his money and he's not filing, there's no reason why he can't save some. Yay! Of course, I'm going to the dentist in May, so chances are there won't be much to save, but still... it's a start.

And the calls began again...

I left the lawyer's office with advice on how to handle future collection calls:

Tell them you're going to give them my name and phone number, and that you've been advised not to talk further with them.

As soon as I got to my car I put a slip of paper with the correct spelling of the lawyer's name and phone number and slipped it into the slide-out keyboard. Then I went to Controls - Contacts - Reject List - Delete All. The block list that I had so carefully added to after each new phone number called was wiped out.

(Sidenote: All the calls have been polite even up until now, which surprised me. I had expected more aggressive techniques, but I guess since I'm still under 30 days late they'd have reason to keep my business if they can.)

Within the hour I got my first call.

Capital One

I spoke with the lady from Capital One first. She gave her schpiel. I confirmed her name and told her exactly what the lawyer told me to say. She said, "Oh, I'd be happy to take that information from you. Would you give me just a minute to pull the right screen up?" All she asked after that was whether it was a debt relief lawyer or if it was a bankruptcy lawyer, in which case my number would be pulled from the call list in her system. I told her it was bankruptcy. She said, "I've got it. Thank you so much, and good luck."

Chase

Chase called next. This time I modified my schpiel to specifically say "bankruptcy attorney". The gentleman was also very polite and happy to take my lawyer's info.

He then asked for the address. I didn't have it as I was in the car. Then he asked what chapter I was filing, which I answered. Then he asked if I had a case number yet, which I don't. Then he asked if he could know why I chose to file bankruptcy at which point I said, "I'm sorry, but my lawyer said not to get into a conversation with you." He confirmed he had the number and to have a good day.

Bank of America

Wouldn't you know, within another hour BOA called. It was another woman. She was just as friendly as the other two and confirmed they'd stop calling me and get further information from the lawyer. She asked a few of the same questions Chase did, but only what chapter and whether I had a case number yet.

It's over

And just like that all three creditors were informed that I'm filing bankruptcy. I thought this step would be hard, but honestly it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

The first big step was to stop paying my bills. The next was the time I spent dreading getting the collection calls and letters. Then admitting I was filing.

I'm still here. The earth didn't swallow me, nobody laughed or teased, and my heart didn't stop.

I CAN DO THIS.

Official Retainer

Today I met with my lawyer again and officially retained him.

Lawyer Paperwork:

I signed a two-page document that clearly outlined what my lawyer was offering and at what price, what my responsibilities are, what extra work costs if above and beyond the normal bankruptcy proceeding, that all must be paid before filing, and so forth. I saw nothing disagreeable. I paid $200 out of the $1500 fee with the remainder to be paid when I turn in the packet of Chapter 7 paperwork.

Mom Advice:

The lawyer was concerned that she still has funds in her account. Becuase I could have gone in and taken money out (not that I would, but I could have), the trustee is going to think s/he can do so as well. However, since her income is solely from Social Security, which is exempt, there shouldn't be an issue. The money she received from her mother has been spent, as has her onetime tax stimulus credit that she got a few years ago.

The Process Now:

This is how the process is going to work from this point to filing:

• I have to fill out the worksheet and make an appointment to go back to the office.
• I have to gather a bunch of forms including any correspondance from creditors within the last 60 days, 6 months of bank statements, and so forth.
• The lawyer and I will spend approximately an hour going through the worksheet line-by-line.
• The paralegal will take the worksheet and put it into their computer system.
• I meet with the other lawyer (the one who will be at my 341 meeting and who is also a trustee) to go over what's been put in.
• Revisions are made if necessary.
• The lawyer presses "send" and my Chapter 7 bankruptcy petition is officially filed.

Chapter 7 Paperwork:

I was given a very large worksheet of almost 40 pages to take home. This broke down the forms that the government uses into questions that make a lot more sense are are more user friendly. A few sections were confusing. Once I got the idea of how it was laid out it was much easier.

The paperwork also gave a "double-check" list to see if the filer may have missed any accounts. This was a long list of reminder is the form of "Do you have..." questions.

One thing that I did not like about the paperwork is that the order of "Yes" and "No" check areas were reversed frequently. Sometimes the first blank was for a yes check and othertimes it was for a no check.

I filled out the worksheet based on what forms I had previously filled out and it was very fast. I'm going to go back through and complete the few missing items now. That leaves the posession list. I think I can get that done today, revise it tonight with hubby's help, and check it tomorrow.

Reviewing Paperwork

My lawyer meeting to "officially" retain his services and get all my paperwork is at 11:15.

Little does he know I'm coming armed with a ton of paperwork already started. I hope my appointment allotment allows us to start going over it and answer questions.

I have my list of things we need to discuss, a blank check to write a retainer fee, and an attitude of patience. Hopefully I also have a babysitter!

What Can They Take?

My concern-focus has shifted over the past week or so.

I had been worried about what can they take, what's going to happen, etc. Now, as far as I'm concerned, they can have pretty much whatever they want. I just want to make sure I disclose everything and make sure that our somewhat complicated situation comes across as just that rather than as fraud, which it's not.

I'm still worried about mom's money. She's used the money for what she was saving it for and she doesn't want to spend the rest. I'm going to find a link I posted a few weeks ago that deals with our situation, write a rough draft of a letter, and have the lawyer look over it on Monday. It would be nice to have a document signed by her stating that I never had an equitable interest in the account, it was never meant to be half (or even less) mine, etc.

I'm a little disappointed in that I can't load up the car with stuff for Goodwill. Every few months I get the urge to purge and now that I'm working on our possession list it's come up again.

Decisions - April First(ish)

I've decided that I'm going to split April's funds (those that I'm not using for paying off credit cards but can't save as well as the premium for my auto insurance as I paid the rest of the six months off in March) in the following manner:

$200 to retain the lawyer so we can start reviewing the paperwork I've completed
$400 to buy a package at the chiropractor (I'm double-checking that this is okay with my attorney first) as I get 12 treatments for the price of 10
$45 to get oil changes for both our cars (I have coupons for $17.95 + tax each)
$45 for my lady's wellness visit

In May I'm going to get my teeth cleaned, examined, and the three cavities that I've been ignoring filled (hopefully I won't need any more).

Ideally we'll be able to actually file by the second paycheck in May which means we can start saving money in June. *crosses fingers*

Lawyer Conversations

On Friday I called the lawyer's office. His office assistant is also his wife. She's got over 20 years in the business and is extremely helpful in a motherly yet no-nonsense kind of way.

"I just wanted to let you know that our estimated tax refund is going to be April 13th."

"You know you can get started before you receive your refund, right?"

"No... how would that work?"

"You'd have to pay a small retainer and then we'd get you started on the paperwork."

I laughed. "How much is a small retainer?"

"A couple hundred dollars."

I laughed again. "Then we do have to wait until we get our refund."

"You realize you'll be filing near the end of May in that case? Unless it's an emergency."

"End of May? He told me about four weeks."

"Mid-April, about two weeks to file the paperwork, and about four weeks after that. Longer if you take longer to fill it out, less if you're more organized."

I thanked her. I didn't tell her I already have the paperwork filled out, at least as best I can without further guidance.

We're going to see if we can go ahead and give them a two hundred dollars with his next paycheck so that I can move forward with this.

Impressed. Called Back!

There was a question about my exemption amount.

We are a married couple but I am filing by myself. We have NO joint debts and the house is in his name only, as is one of our two cars.

Since the house is not in my name, do I get $1000 AND the additional $4000 for non-homestead suits or only the $1000?

He actually found out for me and called to let me know. I'm really impressed. My meeting was at the end of last week and he called Monday morning. He's not been paid a cent.

The answer: this has been challenged and the ruling was that a married but filing alone whose spouse owns their home only gets $1000.

Well, poop. I was really hoping for the $5000 total. Oh well. At least I know my lawyer follows through with his bankruptcy clients.

Lawyerly Advice: Where to bank

(This is a paraphrased conversation that I had with my lawyer. It is not ME giving advice, so don't take it as such and always consult your own legal counsel.)

"Is there anything that I need to know that haven't asked, or that trips up most people?"

"Don't bank where you owe money."

"Oh. Crap."

"If you don't pay a bill the bank could, in theory, take money out of any of your other accounts. I've seen it happen where suddenly a couple couldn't pay their rent or buy groceries because the bank took all their money to balance and cover the other account."

This is a problem.

We bank at Bank of America and they are my largest creditor. I owe just over $16,000 at 15.99% in a Gold Options loan. My payment is $350 a month.

I could continue to pay it to avoid having to switch banks, but that's throwing money we need away. Eep.

Going into the account each month is my husband's disability payment (the longest and hardest to change) and his paycheck (easy to change).

Coming out of that is all of our billpay payments (not too hard to change, just have to make sure we don't miss any), our three life insurance premiums (I already have the form, just need to fax it), our health insurance (a little harder, but also just a fax), Netflix (easy), and my web hosting (connected to paypal, so I have to change that over, but not too hard).

The hard thing is going to be closing the old accounts, opening a new one, and making sure things get paid when there's money. The disability is going to be challenging if it doesn't get moved over.

*sigh*

I know this will be work. I know it is. But it's little things like this that are more about coordinating twenty pieces of paperwork that are going to annoy me.

I found out that it will take about a month to go over the paperwork once I turn it in. Both the lawyer and his trustee/lawyer partner meet with me, revise, meet with me, revise, etc. until it's perfect.

I have to wait until we get our tax refund to do that, because if we file prior they will seize the money, rather than being able to use it to pay the lawyer's fee.

And also before I pay so much as a retainer I have to figure out how to deal with our major issue (but that's another post).

He did say that if I was to take one thing out of the whole meeting it would be to not bank where we have debt. The second thing would be to not file for bankruptcy until we've gotten our refund in our hands.

Meeting with Second Lawyer

I met with the second lawyer today, and he's the one I'm going to go with.

Board Certified? Yes, over 14 years

Free Consult? Yes

Consult Time Allotted: 60 minutes

Consult Time Actual: 90 minutes

I was met by his wife who I had previously talked to on the phone. She struck me as a motherly but no-nonsense kind of gal with an easy smile and a head full of facts. She gave me a stack of paperwork to fill out.

The other attorney had me fill out paperwork, but it was all about his office and fees and such. This one actually asked me questions. Lots and lots of questions. I read and write fast and it still took me 10 minutes, most of which was checking "yes" or "no" boxes.

She took my forms and told me he'd be with me in just a minute. He was true to her word.

He was much warmer than the other guy. He smiled, had a sense of humor, and struck me as an actual person who saw me as a person in return. He answered all of my questions (and then some).

They charge $1500 for their services.

I felt very comfortable with him. I think if I had interviewed 10 lawyers, I would have picked his personality and experience. There are (factually) three board-certified attorneys in the area. The first one I won't work with, the one today, and another who works with creditors rather than filers.

He will not be at my 341 meeting. He works with two other lawyers, one of whom has worked (and still works part time) as a trustee. I'll be meeting all of them and they'll be fully knowledgeable of my case. It saves him the drive to Tampa everyday. The man he works with (the trustee) comes into the office a few days a week, the woman (also board certified) works and lives in Tampa.

I'm going to put some of my issues and advice he gave in upcoming posts.

Second Consultation Scheduled

I just got off the phone with another attorney's office and I'm laughing.

According to the first lawyer I met with, he was the only board certified bankruptcy attorney in the area.

The first lawyer gave 20 minutes.

"I'd like to schedule a free consultation for bankruptcy."
"Certainly."
"Is there anyway to do this over the phone? I'm interviewing several lawyers and at the last place it took me more time to get my toddler in and out of the car than it did to meet with the attorney."
She told me I had to make arrangements for childcare, this is an important decision, and that the attorney loves kids but I couldn't afford the distraction. I told her I'd do my best and we found a time.
"How long of a consultation does he give?"
"Up to an hour."
"An hour? Really? The last place only gave me 20 minutes."
She was appalled. 20 minutes is not nearly enough time to make such a critical decision. She laughed and said she guessed I didn't meet with a board-certified bankruptcy attorney.
"Actually, he was. (Name) also said that he was the only board-certified person in the area."
She was pissed. Apparently she knows this guy.
"(Name), my husband which is why I'm taking it so personally, has been board certified for twice as long as (name)."
"Oh my. Well, we both learned something new today."

I'm looking forward to meeting this new lawyer. I have a list of five others in the area that I'll be contacting to meet with, but I'm going to do one at a time. My mom says this way I can "get a feel" for what to expect, the language, etc. and have enough time to process in between.

First Lawyer Meeting

We decided to talk to a lawyer and most in the area offer free consultations. It was easy to schedule.

On Friday I made my way through the maze of the office park and entered the office. The waiting area was small. There was one reception desk and three waiting chairs. The woman there was very friendly and helped entertain my 2-year old daughter.

There was a stack of papers I had to read and sign. It outlined what services he was offering for free and what he was NOT offering. It made sure I knew that each 30 minutes beyond the free 20 minute consultation would cost $150. There was lots of other information as well. I was impressed that it sounded like it had been written by an actual human being.

The lawyer came out of the conference room with another client. He shook hands and asked me into the room by name.

He was very tolerant of my daughter and I managed to ask my few questions.

The time flew.

He asked what my husband makes, what I make, and how much debt we had. He reminded me student loan debt is not dischargeable and I told him I knew. He said we shouldn't have any problem filing for Chapter 7.

I asked about liquidation of assets and how that works when only one spouse files.

Our newer car, in his name only, may or may not be an issue. We received our tax credit for purchasing a house (also only in his name) and used that to pay off the car in December. If an argument can be made that half the money was mine, it might mean that something has to come out of that. The longer we wait the less likely it will be an issue.

We need to list all belongings and be as thorough as possible. He said that because our house is only work 134,000 they wouldn't be looking for us to have too many assets.

My other problem is my mom's bank account. She's almost 70, retired, and has been saving up "burying money". Because my dad passed she put me on her account. Therefore it looks as though I have $10,000 saved up. I don't. It's hers.

If I'm just an authorized signer then it's not an issue. If my social security number is on the account then it's technically "mine". "They aren't looking to take an elderly woman's last dollar from her," he said, "but it will depend on which trustee you get and how aggressive they are."

I talked with my mom about. If there's a chance her money will be taken then there's no way we're filing.

"What's the money for?"

"It's so when I die you can take care of the body without it costing you anything."

"Well, what if we look into prepaying for the cremation and the urn; it might cost less than you think and then I won't have to take care of that detail when I'm mourning. Also, you might have enough money left over to pay off your car loan and you'd have an extra $200 a month."

She thought that was a great idea and asked me to look out for a good deal.

So, we'll see. I'm going to meet with her at the bank early next week and get taken off the account. I'll have her add me back on as soon as the bankruptcy is complete.

I wish the lawyer had given me a better answer. I want to protect her assets; it's very important to me.

I did also find out that I can safely use our upcoming tax return money to pay for the lawyer.

I'm going to call on Monday to set up a few more interviews. I hope I can do them over the phone. Honestly it took me more time to unload the kid and put her back in the car than I spent with the lawyer.

Impression of the lawyer: Cool and collected, slightly reserved. Emotionally neutral. Claims to answer email questions, which is good for me. Over 30 years experience. Only board-certified bankruptcy lawyer in the area.

Cost: $1500 plus $299 filing fee. Paid half and half if necessary.

My Mom's Bankruptcy

My personal view of bankruptcy has never been a negative one. I never thought about it too much until my mom had to go through it in 2005. It was a huge relief for her and so my view became it was a good thing when it was needed.

My dad was in upper management at a local church. The visiting minister wanted to bring in his own guy and rather than have a split congregation my father bowed out. It took him a long time to find something. He sold shoes, his usual fallback job, in the meantime. A national charity hired him as their local executive director. Within a year he was laid off again due to internal changes.

He had been out of work for several months when he was diagnosed with cancer. This was late August. His health insurance was taking forever to approve his chemo and he didn't have the money to pay for the first treatment himself. I still wonder if he'd be alive today if he hadn't had to wait so long.

They started the process of bankruptcy together. He died October 9, less than a month from his 60th birthday.

My mom continued the process. We moved in with her in December and later that month I drove her to Tampa.

When we got there we checked in and were directed into one of the connecting rooms. We waited in a large room that had a table with four seats in the front. We waited for awhile. I was surprised how calm everyone was. Nervous, yes, but no one was in tears or hysterical. There were no sounds of begging and pleading coming from the front. Mostly everyone steeled themselves, went up, spent a few minutes chatting, and came back with a slightly stunned yet relieved expression on their face on the way out the door.

She was called up and her lawyer met her at the table. (Her lawyer was Melanie from Jodat.) was surprised that she didn't recognize her or that they hadn't conferenced prior. My mom spent about ten minutes answering questions. The man at the table mostly nodded, looked over her paperwork, and was very polite.

The whole process was a lot faster than I had expected. I was expecting a typical court room (I've done jury duty several times) where everything was extremely public and somewhat hostile. It was nothing like that.

Afterward Melanie talked with us for a few minutes, answered questions that my mom had and, to my surprise, answered my questions as well.

I found out that since my father had reconsolidated the Parent Plus loans he'd taken out for my college, they were forgiven and I wouldn't have to repay them. (The original loan that I cosigned was considered paid off by the new loan.) I also discovered that my mom was not responsible for my father's medical bills and could not claim them in her bankruptcy. She received far too many bills after, but she could throw them out guilt-free.

This was prior to the laws changing, so I have no idea how my court date will go, but I'm expecting something similar.

I felt bad for my mom. She had retired a month before my dad was laid off and her employer had replaced her before she left so she could train her replacement. My father was supposed to receive SS disability that was far more than what she got for her retirement, and then she got nothing from my father's.

It was a huge relief to her to not be saddled with all the debt they had accumulated. She felt stupid for not knowing about it until he was diagnosed. I remember she showed me a spreadsheet with thousands of dollars of debt. I don't recall how much it was now, but I was really impressed and surprised by the amount of debt. I know she worried about how she'd make the payments. Bankruptcy was the right choice for her.

After her discharge her lawyer touched base a few times to make sure no one was harassing her and made sure she knew that if they did to contact her. Most of the contact was thru form letters.