On the Road to Chapter 7

Not quite on track, but SO much better!

2010-11-30T06:38:00.000-08:00

Two months post discharge I have some new information about myself.

Firstly, we both did what we've always done when things go from super tight to having breathing room. We spent. We went out to eat more, bought some of the things we'd been wanting, and generally took that month's non-essential funds and went wild. Splurged. Binged.

That lasted for about a month in the acute stage and then over the last 3-4 weeks tapered off. Now we're able to look at the budget more and start getting on track.

It is SO very nice not to have to worry about whether a flat of blackberries is going to put us over for the week. It is so very nice to be able to get all our Christmas shopping out of the way over a month early and take advantage of sales. It's so very nice to not freak out when the pantry runs low. It's just so very nice.

I wish I had filed bankruptcy sooner.

First Challenge

2010-11-30T06:33:00.000-08:00

There were some issues at work lately (major stress) involving an ex-employee who mishandled personal information of several patients. It came to light that they had not required a background check for this position, even though it deals with private medical and financial details.

I recommended that they start making that a requirement for the position.

Then, I printed out a form I found online that gave them permission to do a background check on me, which includes a credit check. I also wrote a formal letter stating my support of the policy.

I have yet to hear anything about it, so I'm not sure if they've run it yet.

I can't think that a bankruptcy could interfere with my new position. I'm getting a lot of kudos from the owners and from the patients and I'm taking on a lot of extra responsibility. I've been told that no one in this position has ever tackled it like I have. But I do have concerns.

If it turns into anything I'll be sure to post it here. At most I would imagine they'll ask me about it. Why did I file? What were the circumstances? How are are finances now?

Post-Discharge

2010-10-04T04:25:00.000-07:00

So I'm officially off the hook for all my dis-chargeable debt. Which is all of it, aside from a $12,000 student loan.

How does that feel?

Pretty darn good. I have to say, however, that once the initial filing and 341 meeting was done, I somewhat put it out of my mind. I knew there was a chance that an issue would crop up, but I didn't dwell on it. After the first 30 days post-341 I mostly didn't think of it at all. The last 30 days flew by.

What would I have done differently?

Well... I would have filed a lot earlier. It was a fairly painless process that mostly required the ability to fill out a ton of worksheets for the lawyer and then wait. And wait. And wait. It definitely stretched my patience. Other than that, it was easy. This seems to be the general answer that everyone on the bkforum website give as well. They wish they'd have done it sooner.

What are my next steps?

Well, for one, I've got a reminder note to check my credit in about 75 days, including paying to see my credit score. They said to check it after 60 days, but I'm going to give it an extra couple of weeks, just in case something takes a bit longer. At the end of the week I'm going to call Tampa to get some certified copies of the discharge mailed to me. I had thought I'd receive one via the mail, but the only notification thus far has been an email with an attached pdf from my lawyer's office.

After everything has been straightened out I need to figure out which cards still work. I'm not sure if any survived the fallout. If one did, then I'm going to use it for something like gas or groceries and billpay a check to pay it off as soon as I return home. I figure if I get a monthly "pay as agreed" going on, then that's the best way to start. Next I'll start paying my student loans as soon as my deferment has expired next summer.

Job Update?

We're both working. It's a huge, huge change. The kiddo is in daycare and she loves to go to "school". We're both working full time.

Our expenses have increased. We're spending more on gas, food, and childcare than we were before, simply due to the change in circumstances. However, with adding that additional amount into the budget, we still have about $1000 left over to split between our FSA and savings. (FSA is for all the things we need that are random or scheduled but not monthly, such as the car breaking down, replacing a water heater, or car insurance.) After the FSA is funded we don't have a lot for savings, but it keeps things that are going to happen from becoming emergencies.

WOOT

2010-09-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

I got my CH7 discharge notice today!

WOOOOHOOO!

Ch...ch...ch...changes

2010-09-20T05:58:00.001-07:00

Well... I got the call!

I start my new job today. Yikes! Found out at 3:00 yesterday. Today is an observation day with my "real" first day starting tomorrow.

New Job

2010-09-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Hubby started his new job this week. It was yet another pay cut, but so very welcome for the steady income and opportunity.

He interviewed early this week and started on Thursday.

It's a load off my shoulders; with our income there is not a penny extra outside the budget, but there is enough. Enough for the house, enough for food, enough for health insurance and gas and utilities. Enough.

I have a potential job that I've been working on getting. Two interviews so far, one test, and one more test this weekend. I hope to find out soon.

In all the craziness of the past few weeks of interviewing and such, we checked out several local day cares. The little one is all signed up and ready to go as soon as I get word that I'm hired.

Cross your fingers for me?

throws up hands

2010-09-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

Bankruptcy Status: No news is good news! About 30 days left in the 60-days club.

Interview Count for Hubby: 5 interviews in 6 weeks
Interview Count for Me: 0

I do have an interview today at 3:00. I would be an excellent choice for them. I'm not just saying that, either; I know I can land this job. The only question is whether or not they're actually going to pay enough.

It's really frustrating to look through craigslist.org and some of the other sites we use. It's obvious that the majority of companies are taking advantage of the sheer number of hungry unemployed workers and paying as little as possible. $8-$12 for bookkeepers (oh, and please have a 4-year degree and be bilingual), minimum wage-$9 for office help, maybe $10 for an executive assistant. It's crazy.

Today I have to really steel myself. I have no idea what the position pays. Very few list that on the job sites. It's a waste of our time and theirs! I'd never bother to apply to certain ones if I knew they were paying peanuts, and to go through the interview process and get all parties excited only to find out the pay is terrible... ugh.

So part of me is expecting to laugh out loud at what they're going to offer this afternoon. Then I have to decide if it's worth taking a job that pays very little compared to what a fair wage actually is. If it's more than retail, then isn't that great? If it's more than nothing...

If I sound a little disgruntled it's because we've sent out over 100 resumes and had very little response. The number of jobs posted each day is still significant, but those that apply to our skill sets are limited, and then ones that pay more than he's making on unemployment are few and far between.

I hope I go in there, find it's a great place, and get a decent offer. *crosses fingers*

The other thing I noticed is that people are not negotiating. If they don't like what you're thinking you should be paid, they don't even counter offer. They simply thank you for your time and hire the person who requested less.

On a job where the range is $x-$y, I don't understand this. If we're within the $y amount, and a great choice for the job, why choose someone who's asking $x but has less experience? If you only want to pay $x, then only offer $x. Does that make sense? Why even dangle that carrot?

And people are taking the jobs for less. "A job to keep a roof over my head? Heck, I'll do it for a waiter's wage and pray like hell I get tips, just HIRE ME!"

Hubby's response to the whole thing is, "I could work at Target for $8.50 an hour and have no responsibility. For $10.00 an hour to do what I was making $44,000 a year for, and have all kinds of responsibility isn't worth it."

Now I feel like a cocky primadonna who's too good to get my hands dirty.

But that's not it.

I helped my dad at his retail shop from the time I was 12.

I got my first job on my own as soon as I turned 14 and was made third key within a month. I held a job all through high school, all through college, then did two internships (one unpaid, one paid min wage, both were about 4 months long). I took an entry level job at the next place so I could work myself into the position I really wanted. Then, after going to school again, I started my own business, working part time while I built it.

I've paid my dues, damnit. I don't want to file and fax and lick someone's shoes for $9/hour. I was making a hell of a lot more than that just eight years ago.

Okay... this turned into a rant. Sorry!

The 400.

2010-08-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

My husband had an interview at a placement agency that used to be in our town but is now located about an hour away. (They consolidated and the new office handles a significant territory.) The recruiter was very impressed with him and he aced all of the various tests and showed excellent software proficiency. They had already filled the position he had applied for, but she's keeping him in mind.

In the meantime, she told him that for the average job opening, employers are receiving, on average, about 400 applications.

Holy cow! That's a LOT of competition.

I figure that very few of the 400 average applicants are a threat. They either won't know how to write a resume, won't put time into a cover letter, or won't be qualified for the position. Most of the out-of-work people I know are applying for everything they can and stretching their background to try and cover it.

Still, it leaves many, many potential workers who are skilled, who have experience, and who are hungry.

In the three weeks he's been unemployed we've sent out well over 40 resumes. He's had three interviews.

The first went well, but they found someone with experience with their software.

The second was for the placement agency. I have hope that if anything in our area opens up, they'll consider him.

The third is where he is at this very moment. My fingers are crossed. Prayers have been said.

No word on the bankruptcy front. And no news is good news. I'm assuming they were able to notify Capital One and hope that nothing is going to happen to screw up the discharge.

Alright, what else?

2010-08-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

We were playing outside. Frisbee and hula hoops. We were having a lot of fun.

Hubby noticed that the fan on the A/C was spinning more slowly than usual and it started to make an odd noise.

A little later we went back outside to check on it. It made a terrible sounding noise (we both stepped back from the unit) and the fan slowed to a halt.

I was due to be somewhere, so I left him instructions of who to call and what to do. I took my leave and throughout the evening found out:

- Companies can come out immediately, day or night, as advertised, but the service charge is VERY inflated for them to do so.
- It was very likely the capacitor.

The next morning we awaited a call from the company whose number was on our unit. Turns out they did not contact us "first thing the morning" and hubby called them to find out what was going on. Apparently this was not the company that serviced us after we purchased the house; they had the old owner's name in the system. They'd be out "sometime in the afternoon".

We found our company's number. They had a tech there within a few hours. Turns out the compressor shorted out and took the capacitor with it. We'd known that if this happened we'd be SOL. The unit is 10 years old, a 10 SEER system, not supported anymore, and very hard to find parts for. We'd learned this from our home inspector as well as the A/C checkup/maintainer guys last summer.

We had figured we had a few years. The unit was doing okay, though the air handler inside was clogged with mold and dust and rust (which hubby cleaned up as best he could, not having the $800 to pay for them to do it). It ran. It cooled. Our average electric bill was about $160.00. One of the goals we had after filing was to save up money towards the A/C.

Nope. Caput. Done. He showed hubby a few things that made sense to him as far as it being truly broken and not just a sales technique. A new part, should they even be able to find it, would cost about $2000. It made sense to get a new system.

And, best party, they could install a new one that afternoon.

We called the office manager who checked with their financing company. Hubby was turned down. (I, of course, could not apply.) I was shocked. He has really good credit, even great. It was good enough to get a good rate on the house, we've made every payment, he has no other debt except for student loans. They couldn't tell us why. She offered to try their secondary company, and I agreed.

I also ran upstairs to log into his BOA account (with his permission). He has a credit card that we don't use. In fact, when he got the new card in the mail after the old one expired, we snipped it right up. No more CCs for us, no siree. Well, we might need it, and I had no idea even what kind of credit limit he has.

$5500 at 16.9%

For those who haven't bought a new A/C lately, they are rated by SEER. Higher SEER levels indicate higher efficiency, and there are tax credits from FPL as well as the government. 13 SEER is the least expensive unit and the least efficient currently available. (This is all based on very limited research and may not be entirely accurate.)

A 13 SEER system (a huge improvement over our old system) for our house was $3918.00. That includes installation, removal of the old system, a 10 year warranty, and one year of service.

We could have gotten a larger system; we certainly have enough room on the BOA card to do so. However, we decided to get the most basic system.

Was that a mistake? Ask me in a few years. We only knew that we have a senior citizen with a bad heart living downstairs and a 2 year old living upstairs. For us we could do a few days without A/C to price shop. For the other family members, there's no way. We got what we could "afford".

Yeah, yeah, we don't have income right now, so we can't "afford". I should say, instead, that it was the most affordable option.

I called the office manager back after getting the card number off the statement (hubby called and begged for the expiration date). Turns out we qualified for the financing.

At 5 years the payments were just over $100/month at 17.9% financing. This was a percent over the credit card, so we didn't go with that.

4 years had an APR at 14.9%.

3 years had an APR at 13.9%.

If hubby gets a source of income, we can swing the $133.00/month payments over the next three years. It's not an ideal solution, but it works.

If he does not get a job, it's still covered, though it gives us less for food.

By 4:45 we had a brand new A/C system and $4000.00 more in debt.

I have a Feeling that something's going to happen to/break down in the older car in the next few weeks. You know how "when it rains, it pours"? Yeah. I have a Feeling.

Financial Details

2010-08-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

This is what I figured out.

"Gift" Income: $500

Disability Income: $644

Total = $1144

This will cover our mortgage with about $50 left over.

Unemployment @ $275 x 4 = $1100 + $50

Insurance:

Health Insurance $475

Life Insurance $55

Car Insurance (Paid for six months)

_______________________________

$620 remaining

Averaged FPL bill ("Budget Billing") $160

Water/Sewer $130

Phone/Internet/Cable $155

Medicine $40

________________________________

$135 remaining

(Sidenote: I realize that the internet and cable are both luxuries and that we can drop them if need be; I have a feeling my mom will pay this bill if we have to drop it. I called and got another $10 customer retention credit per month over the next 12 months by telling them about our situation.)

EDITED: A/C Payment $133

That gives us a whopping $2.00 a month left over for gas and food.

I know that doesn't seem like a whole lot, but figure that since he got 2 weeks of severance we won't "need" to touch the unemployment and can roll what would be "extra" in our normal budget to go towards food and gas.

It helps to know that we won't be losing the house or having the lights shut off.

One Week Later (Than "Oh Crap")

2010-08-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a long week, but it's also gone by quickly.

My daughter has absolutely loved having daddy home. As have I. I almost feel guilty because there have been so many times I've wanted a long vacation or wanted a break from being the 100% stay at home parent.

There are many opportunities right now.

I've gone into super-focus mode and have revised both of our resumes (two versions for me), looked through every single job available on three websites (jobfocus.com, monster.com, and craigslist.org), copied anything even close to what we qualify for into a document, set up new emails for both of us that are more professional, and sent out resumes and coverletters to each of those opportunities. I've also looked for new entries the past few days as well.

Thus far? Not a single interview had been scheduled. It's been less than 72 hours, though. We waited until Monday to start sending them out. Sent out a bunch Monday afternoon and evening, more on Tuesday, and a handful today.

Really, this couldn't have come at a better time. Because we don't have to worry about my debt anymore (assuming that the discharge happens, and I have no reason to believe there will be issues) we've got more wiggle room.

Options:
- We both find full time jobs and put the kid in daycare.
- One of us gets a job and the other stays home.
- We both get part time jobs and share "stay at home" duties. (I really like this option.)
- We both try to freelance and make ends meet while we look for jobs.
- We both apply for as many jobs as possible, but I get a retail job ASAP just to get some money coming in.
- We win the lottery. (Lol.)

I'm not giving up on our financial goals just yet, but right now survival might be the only goal we can focus on.

Capital One

2010-07-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

I received an email from my paralegal's assistant. Apparently the address I pulled off the bill from Capital One for bankruptcy notices was incorrect. (I may have copied it wrong onto the piles of paperwork I filled out or they may have inputted it incorrectly.)

If a company cannot be notified then it's likely that debt won't be discharged.

So you better bet I was on the phone within a minute of getting that call. I got a different address (different state, even) from C1 and emailed that back to them. I also included their regular address for correspondence, figuring it can't hurt to have them send a notice both places.

Oh Crap.

2010-07-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

One week and one day after my 341 meeting I got a call from my husband. It was 8:03 in the morning. "I'm on my way home. I've just been laid off."

Budgeting Experiment

2010-07-26T05:49:00.000-07:00

I know that most people who visit my blog are looking for bankruptcy-specific things, so if you're not interested in my own experiments in budgeting, please feel free to skip this one. I'm trying to keep us out of debt again in the future so it's relevant to me.

I recently switched my way of budgeting as an experiment. Instead of spending $140 a week for the three of us (including all household items, food, and eating out) I spent $20 a day. Yes - $20 x 7 = $140, so it's not a difference in amount, rather in timing.

The first thing that changed was that I was shopping almost every day. Now, I'm out and about town and the grocery store and fruit stand are pretty much on my way home from everywhere, so this wasn't a big deal in regards to time or gas. (Though I did notice the kid expected a cookie at Publix every time we went. There were some tears involved.)

One of the rules that I made was that I could buy two days worth of food if I was some place like Whole Foods and did not want to make two trips as it's out of the way. So I might spend $40 on Monday, but it would cover Monday and Tuesday. Three days at a time was my max, and I tried really hard to buy for each day.

The second rule was that I could not borrow ahead. If I wanted a super special meal or to eat out or something like that I had to wait until the money was available. I couldn't use Tuesday's money to pay for Monday's food.

One of the things that I noticed was that I got a lot less food. I've changed my eating habits some recently, so this didn't affect me a huge amount, but it did make me feel a little pantry-paranoid. I've been a big fan of thegrocerygame.com and using coupons and stockpiling. Suddenly I wasn't coming home with $60 worth of free food after spending $100. I was spending $20 and getting $20 worth of food.

The reason for this is two-fold. One, it's harder to use some of the coupons I've gotten used to. The Albertson's ad comes in the mail and often has a $5/$50 coupon. Publix takes competitors coupons. Two, the things I'm buying are much more whole-food and don't usually have as many coupons.

I should add another reason. I'm not getting the best price per ounce. If I only have $3 left to buy salsa, for example, I'm not going to get the big jug that will last us for weeks and weeks. I'm going to get the small jar that only lasts a few uses. (We love salsa and went through the stuff I made really fast, so we're back to buying it until next tomato season at the local farm.) Another example is when buying training diapers, I'm not buying the giant pack and saving $0.05/each. I'm buying the smaller pack which costs $10.99 or $8.99 if on sale.

I was, however, eating much healthier and I was excited about all the different things that I could get. Instead of making a menu for several days, I would figure out what I wanted for supper and plan on leftovers for lunch the next day. I'd get a few different snacks. We made the switch to grass-fed organic meats. They taste better and are healthier for us. We switched over to only organic dairy and local grass-fed organic milk. Both these things are more expensive. (Though the milk is only $0.70/gallon more at the fruit stand than regular Publix milk is at Publix.)

I'm not eating grain right now (that's a whole other topic, not one that's really relevant, I don't think) so I didn't stock up on things like spaghetti and crackers and bread and rice and popcorn like I normally do. My pantry is a little bare right now. That makes me a little nervous.

The experiment was exciting for a few days. More like a week, actually. But then things like cat litter and diapers needed to be purchased. Suddenly I had to figure out how to eat on only a few dollars a day and do it on my new diet guidelines.

I decided to keep my budget at the $140/week but to go twice a week, roughly $70 every three days. This is somewhat where I'm at now, though I'm not as strict about it. I was getting pretty anal about the $20/day. We compromised on the grass-fed beef and decided that whenever possible, we'll go that route. However, if we're not able to get enough other nutrient-rich foods with our budget, we'll get regular meat. (We've looked at buying 1/4 to 1/2 a grass-fed local cow, but we don't have the money saved up right now.)

Sinking In...

2010-07-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was my 341 meeting. Thursday I was feeling it a little bit. I was experiencing an almost PMS-y time. I'd be suddenly light, as though the weight was newly lifted off my shoulders, and then flip to teary and blubbery.

Friday I was distracted by a bit of a tummy bug. Saturday we rested as a family. Sunday we spent time with a friend.

I talked to my husband and asked him to give me until Monday (today) to kind of get my head in order. He agreed. He's a supportive guy.

I would recommend anyone take a few days post-341 (and likely post-discharge) to be gentle with themselves. Don't stress out about little household chores that can easily be done in a few days without much damage. Try not to make any big decisions, financial or otherwise. Avoid arguments with family and friends.

It's incredibly unlikely that any of my creditors will complain, so I'm expecting no news until I get my discharge. I'm trying to be relaxed. Wish me luck!

What would I do differently?

2010-07-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of a few things I would have done differently if I could go back in time.

- I would have filed way, way sooner. I can't believe how long it took me to come around to the idea of bankruptcy and accept it as a very valid and reasonable path.

- I would have been less hung up on how quickly I could file. The stalls in my attorney's office were stressful for me because I had expectations that weren't very reasonable.

- I would have brought more quarters to Tampa!

Other than that, there's very little I would have changed.

- I'm happy with my attorney.

- I'm happy I brought my daughter.

- I'm VERY happy that I gave myself an extra hour to get there, get parked, and get to the building. I needed it!

60-Day Club!

2010-07-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here, on my couch, slightly stunned. I was so busy taking care of my kiddo today that it hasn't really had time to sink in... it's over. The big, huge, scary event that I've been terrified of for months is now a part of my past.

The drive up to the court in Tampa was a pain. I hate Tampa. Always have. I was armed with directions and a good idea of what it should look like. I'd been there with my mom in 2005 and I'd looked at the street view on Google maps. I was set.

Except... there was a ton of construction. Nothing looked familiar. The only thing I recognized from Google was the building with the above-road walkway thing. (Luckily, this was where I needed to go.)

I called my lawyers office. Voice mail. Damnit. I called again and hit 0 instead of the extension option. The lady that answered was super nice and very helpful. She gave me some ideas of where to look for parking and, finally, I found a metered space that was open.

I pulled in without any damage to my car or the cars around me. (I'm not very confident with my parallel parking skills. Luckily, Tampa has generous spaces!) I got the stroller out, the diaper supplies out, the toys out, and finally, got my daughter situated.

When I went to Publix the other day I got lots of $1s for the various tolls. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought to get quarters. The parking meters ONLY take quarters. And it's $1.50 per HOUR! Holy cow! I had just enough for an hour and a half and crossed my fingers that it would work out. (Side note: the town I live in does not have metered parking.)

We walked the four or five blocks to the courthouse. I'm so very grateful that I've been working on my direction sense. It's normally terrible. I figured out how to get there with no problems, even though I had to detour an extra block due to a sidewalk being closed.

There wasn't any line for security. Which was awesome, because I am clueless about that kind of thing. I had to show my photo ID, empty my pockets, unload the stroller, push her through, then go back through myself, answer questions about the contents of my purse (I have an epi-pen, which apparently got flagged as they asked about it), let them examine the stroller and it's storage areas, and then recollect all my stuff.

We hit the bathroom and then headed to the courtroom. In 2005 my mom was in the room directly across from where we went, so it was a little deja-vu like. We waited in the back. The kiddo was amazing. I mean I could not have asked her to be any better than she was. I am so very proud. (Another side note: she spiked a fever of over 102 degrees last night and was still feverish this morning w/o meds. She felt okay after Motrin kicked in, but without it was miserable.)

I watched a few cases as best I could. No one was assigned a home visit from an appraiser, which surprised me as I was terrified it would happen. Apparently MDFL is appraisal-happy according to what I've read on www.bkforum.com. The trustee was respectful. He seemed to have a little less patience for people who were wishy-washy or putting on a "poor me" show. Yet when one lady genuinely bust into tears, he was very compassionate (still in a professional kinda way).

The lawyer showed up and popped his head in, called my name softly, and then helped me get the stroller out into the main area and into a conference area. Babygirl got out and shook his hand and then was silly for a few minutes. I'm so very glad we had this time because when my mom got called up she had no idea where her lawyer was; she didn't recognize her! It was very reassuring to have talked to him beforehand.

He gave me the following advice:

- Answer all questions honestly and completely. Then shut up.
- Do not offer ANY information that's not asked for.
- Speak clearly and with authority. Give short answers.

Then he told me a few questions that the trustee might ask. (There's a really great list of these somewhere on the internet... I should find it and link to it.)

Then we went back into the room. He said we should sit up front so that the trustee would more likely call us next.

We watched one case together. At one point he leaned over and whispered, "this is exactly how not to answer questions." The lady was wishy-washy about everything. "Did you read the form that explains the difference between the types of bankruptcies?" "I think so. I'm not sure. If I did I think I read it online and not a paper handout. I'm not sure."

We got called next. My daughter was very good and he was kind to her.

I handed him my FL driver's license and my SS card. He read both. "This is case number ... with filer ... ." He swore me in. "I have in front of me .... with her DL and SS card. Please state your name and address for the record."

I did.

"No creditors are present."

He looked at my paperwork. To my surprise he asked me the least questions of anyone. He didn't ask why I had filed bankruptcy or why my husband wasn't filing with me. He confirmed the car I owned and then basically asked me if the form was complete (yes, sir), had I listed all my assets (yes, sir), did I read it before signing it (yes, sir), and so forth.

The only non-everybody question he asked me was about my business. "I see here you used to have interest in a business."

"Yes, sir."

"Are there assets remaining?"

"Yes, sir. They are listed in my paperwork."

"Could you give me an idea of what kind of assets those are?"

"A massage table and some facial equipment."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

My lawyer interjected that it was a very small business and made a few other comments along the same lines. The trustee nodded at him and looked again at my petition then moved on.

"This concludes the meeting of creditors."

If my kid hadn't been with me and been slightly distracting, I would have been done in under five minutes. It probably took ten with her.

I met with the lawyer again. He told me that they (the creditors) had a certain time period to object. He said, "they can't just say, 'hey, we don't like this!' there are only a few cases they can report against you." Then he asked if I had committed fraud, transfer of assets, etc., to which I answered no. He told me that I should get my letter of discharge in approximately 90 days and wished me luck.

We stopped at a play place in St. Pete and had lunch while we were there. She was feeling pretty good (I had re-Motrined her before we got called) and had the energy to play. It probably wasn't the best mommy move, but I needed fun and she had been SO good in the courtroom.

Then we had a long drive home. It still hadn't hit me. I talked with my mom and reassured her that she hadn't even come up in the conversation. She was greatly relieved. I'm so glad that she's supportive of me; after all, she's been through this too.

So now I'm a member of the 60-day club. Woo!

Next week...

2010-07-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

My 341 is next week.

I haven't had much to say. Getting the paperwork in and making sure they had what I needed was the hardest part. Everything else has just been waiting. And more waiting.

Next week will be a big weight off my shoulders. I'll be in the 60 day club!

I did complete the 2-hour training. My lawyer uses Hummingbird. It was pretty much basic financial knowledge and then I had to do a test afterward to prove I watched it. (The test was random words that I had to write down at random parts of the video, six total.)

I received a piece of paper from the court stating that I have completed all required documentation. So that was good. I had to reread it twice to make sure it was a good thing! It was written in legal-ese.

I'm still planning on taking my daughter with me. Both lawyers recommended that I do so. My appointment is before 10:00 so I'm thinking of making a day of it. Go up, do my 341, panic in the car for a few minutes afterward to get the stress out, take the kiddo to MOSI or something, and then hit the all-you-can-eat wing place on the way home for lunch.

341 Scheduled!

2010-06-23T11:25:00.000-07:00

Just got an email from my lawyer's office that my 341 has been scheduled in July in Tampa.

No mail yet...

2010-06-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

Supposedly I will receive a letter from both the court and my legal firm when the filing is completed and a 341 date has been assigned. I still have not heard, but then I didn't expect to until later in the week. *fingers crossed*

I'm nervous yet calmer than I was the day I filed.

Post Order

2010-06-11T11:05:00.000-07:00

Posts from prior to the actual filing of the bankruptcy paperwork are labeled "before we filed".

Now that I've actually done so, the posts will be labeled "pre-341".

I think after that will be "60 day club" followed by, hopefully, "post-discharge".

More filing thoughts

2010-06-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

I came home the other day feeling shaky and nauseated. I really wasn't ready to write about things and wanted to take a few days to process.

I think it comes down to the fact that every attorney, even if board certified in the same area, will have differing opinions based on their own experience with clients and trustees. What they both told me might be equally true. He made a good point, "it's ridiculous that how you do something is more important than the end result or the intention."

When my name was removed from my mother's account I "gave up my right to half of what was in the account on the day it was removed". Which means that I gave up quite a bit of money, and the fact that she spent it on other things doesn't mean a whole lot.

That said, they can't exactly go after her. They can, but because all that's in her account are her social security funds she's basically "judgment proof".

She should have written a check to herself for all but $20 in that account, opened a new account elsewhere, and then took my name off. I'd be "giving up" $10.

I discovered I'm under $1000, which is the FL allowed amount. (I also found out this amount was written into the state law years and years and years ago and that it's not been updated.) Prior to updating a few things on the list I was just a tad over, but now I'll be filing no asset. Yay!

Likely they will not send someone to the house, he said, because it costs them to do so and chances are there's nothing about me that will set off the "I bet she's hiding a lot of stuff I could sell!" radar. It's not guaranteed, but he can't see why they would.

I had to claim 1/2 of everything we own jointly. It was my understanding that they could not take anything that we own jointly except up to the amount of joint debts, of which we don't have any. This is true, if they use a particular part of law that makes those items property of the marriage. He said that if I went over the $1000 then we'd invoke that, but if it's only $995, why draw attention and have it possibly challenged?

I felt like this guy was really competent. He'll be at my 341 meeting, and I feel like he'll do a good job.

I also paid the final $299, which was for the filing fee. My bankruptcy is officially 100% paid in full.

Final Paperwork

2010-06-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

I met with the lawyer who will be at my 341 meeting. We went over every piece of paper piece-by-piece, talked about some possible complications (namely mom), and I signed and dated many times.

There were a few changes that needed to be made (which annoyed me--the paralegal had weeks to look over my very detailed paperwork and double-check her work) but nothing huge. He'll take it back to his main office, make the changes, and then file electronically either tomorrow, Thursday, or Friday.

I'll receive a notification from them and one from the state with a court date.

I have more thoughts, but I don't have time to get them down right now.

Finally! A Date!

2010-06-01T16:45:00.001-07:00

After another longish period of time reviewing my paperwork, I have finally been given a date to meet with the other attorney and file. Yay!

Imported/Merged Blog

2010-05-17T12:21:00.001-07:00

Way back in the day I wrote a blog called "Taking Control of Our Money". We were determined to get out of debt and I wrote a blog to help me focus.

I've imported these posts. The "Old Blog" tag will display these posts.

I hope you enjoy them. It's hard to look at these now, knowing how determined I had been and exactly how horribly we failed.

Thank goodness I opened it...!

2010-05-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

Bank of America has a very distinctive envelope. I've been putting all my correspondance aside in case the lawyer or trustee needs to see it.

Luckily, however, I opened this one.

I didn't look too closely and so didn't notice it was addressed to my husband. He has a BOA card but we never use it. It was a $69.99 balance with $15 minimum payment.

SO glad I looked at it so I could pay it. We thought we canceled our Norton auto-bill but they still charged his credit card. I'm annoyed. However, it's a good idea to charge a few things occasionally (and pay them off in full immediately) so that the credit card keeps reporting. At least that's what I've read.

Waiting... Still waiting...

2010-05-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Ack. This is taking sooooo long.

I sent hubby to work last week with the stack of paperwork we needed. (The paralegal never responded to the email asking what would suffice since what she asked for doesn't exist.) He scanned it, sent me the PDF, and then I sent it to the paralegal. She confirmed receipt the same day and said she just needed to go through my paperwork one more time and then set a date for me to meet with the attorney again.

*tapping fingers on table*

*sighs*

Okay... any day now. Right? I can finally file, worry about the 341 meeting, and then join the 60 day club, and then be free from these bills?

Waiting

2010-05-06T05:30:00.000-07:00

I heard from the lawyer's office last week on Thursday with a request for more documentation.

I replied, stating that some of it was not possible to provide, and clarifying what would be needed for others.

On Friday she replied. My paralegal would be out of the office until Monday. She'd forward my questions.

I still haven't heard.

I think I'm going to go ahead and get together what common sense tells me will be the most likely to be accepted items.

One request was for January and February bank statements for the new bank account. Well, we opened it in March, so those don't exist. That one's easy.

However, to prove we get a monthly gift from my mom... what do we need? I'm going to write a letter "from" her, print it out, and have her sign it.

They requested disability statements for the six months. Well, we don't get those. What we do get is a yearly benefit statement. I can copy that.

The last one was for a few extra pay stubs, which is easy-peasy.

I feel like the ball is in my court and that I'm the one holding everything up. I just don't want to do/send the wrong thing and delay further. It's a little stressful compared to when I'd given my big ol' stack of everything. That was a weight off my shoulders.

29.99%

2010-04-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

Just got a letter stating that my APR on the Chase account was finally raised to 29.99%

At first... GULP... then I realized that it's not a big deal. They can raise it to 153% and it won't matter because I'm filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.

I can breathe deeply.

Getting things in order

2010-04-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

Things are starting to fall into place. I still haven't heard from the paralegal about what else she might need (hopefully nothing). Aside from not knowing when my next lawyer meeting will be, and thus being able to go ahead and officially file for Chapter 7, things are going well.

I've made excellent progress at the chiropractor and am in much less pain. I've caught up with most of my healthcare visits (dentist, well-woman, etc.) and am collecting my bloodwork results as they come in. We've reorganized parts of the house and it's much cleaner, calmer, and more open.

All in all the stress is reducing every day a little bit more.

Nudge

2010-04-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

I sent my attorney-assigned paralegal a "helpful" email asking if there is anything she needs or if I can help in any way. I was advised to "nudge" her this way, to be polite and helpful, and to do so about once a week.

Hopefully I'll be able to officially file within the next few weeks!

Paperwork Submitted

2010-04-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I did the "collect all the misc. paperwork the forms ask for" dance and the "double check to make sure I didn't miss anything" boogie.

Today I brought a huge stack of papers to the lawyer.

He said he was impressed that I had done all that in a week and that it was so organized and thorough.

Unfortunately the paralegal appears to be a little busier now and it will take 2-3 weeks just to get everything entered into the computer. Then I have to do the final review and sign the forms, which requires an appointment with the other lawyer who's only in town one day a week, sometimes two.

*sighs*

I had really hoped to hit the end of April. Now it looks like we'll file just before the first paycheck of May, probably around the 14th. (Hubby gets paid last day of the month and the 15th; disability hits on the first.) I'm not happy that I'll be 60 days late with my accounts. I had really hoped to be 30 days late and file just prior to the 60 day mark.

He suggested that I sent a "helpful" email to the paralegal in about a week. Does she have everything she needs? Is there anything else she's found that I can send to her? He said to do that once in a week and again in another. "Squeaky wheel gets all the attention, but you'll be a nice squeaky wheel," he said. Hopefully I gave everything they need and we can get this done more quickly.

I found out that if my husband opens a savings account in his name only he can save part of his paycheck by having it direct deposited into that account. Since it's his money and he's not filing, there's no reason why he can't save some. Yay! Of course, I'm going to the dentist in May, so chances are there won't be much to save, but still... it's a start.

How could I have missed this?

2010-04-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

I got a letter from the IRS today.

I know, right? My heart started pounded, just as you'd imagine.

All kinds of things floated through my mind. Were we being audited?

The letter said they noticed a mistake on our taxes that changed our refund amount. It offered a toll-free number and asked that I call them.

So I did. And they were very polite.

Turns out my husband got part of a credit through the VA and had claimed it again (our accountant is awesome, but not infallible) when we filed. The result was that our refund was $250 less.

I panicked. We already received our tax refund. Did I have to send a check?

Turns out they adjusted it prior to sending the refund and all is well.

Truth is I had simply noted the amount in our account had gone up about what I had expected it to. I was rushed that day. I didn't analyze it. Ugh! How could I miss that? $250!

It's happening again

2010-04-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile I come across a life obstacle that makes me behave differently. There is a holding pattern that happens. I realize it, curse at it a bit, forget about it for a few days, and then face it again, kicking and screaming.

The most notable time that this happened was when we were trying, and failing, to get pregnant. I didn't want to do certain things because I was going to get pregnant soon. Months later I'd be mad at myself for not being in better shape or not having flattering clothes, but surely I'd be pregnant next month, right? I'd hate to cause myself to miscarry (a very uninformed fear I had at the time) or spend money on nice clothes that wouldn't fit.

Now the bankruptcy is causing this holding pattern. Nothing feels "real" to me right now. Although nothing will change. On paper I'll be debt-free (except for student loans) and have a credit score few would envy. In my day-to-day life, however, very little is going to be different.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to use this as an opportunity to start fresh rather than be on hold.

One more thing to go

2010-04-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

I simply need to finalize my list of possessions (including coming up with prices and making sure that I properly labeled them joint, mine, hubby's, or mom's) and my paperwork is done done done. I'm this close to being set for Monday. Honestly, I could have been done by now, but I wanted some separation so that I didn't miss anything.

And the calls began again...

2010-04-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

I left the lawyer's office with advice on how to handle future collection calls:

Tell them you're going to give them my name and phone number, and that you've been advised not to talk further with them.

As soon as I got to my car I put a slip of paper with the correct spelling of the lawyer's name and phone number and slipped it into the slide-out keyboard. Then I went to Controls - Contacts - Reject List - Delete All. The block list that I had so carefully added to after each new phone number called was wiped out.

(Sidenote: All the calls have been polite even up until now, which surprised me. I had expected more aggressive techniques, but I guess since I'm still under 30 days late they'd have reason to keep my business if they can.)

Within the hour I got my first call.

Capital One

I spoke with the lady from Capital One first. She gave her schpiel. I confirmed her name and told her exactly what the lawyer told me to say. She said, "Oh, I'd be happy to take that information from you. Would you give me just a minute to pull the right screen up?" All she asked after that was whether it was a debt relief lawyer or if it was a bankruptcy lawyer, in which case my number would be pulled from the call list in her system. I told her it was bankruptcy. She said, "I've got it. Thank you so much, and good luck."

Chase

Chase called next. This time I modified my schpiel to specifically say "bankruptcy attorney". The gentleman was also very polite and happy to take my lawyer's info.

He then asked for the address. I didn't have it as I was in the car. Then he asked what chapter I was filing, which I answered. Then he asked if I had a case number yet, which I don't. Then he asked if he could know why I chose to file bankruptcy at which point I said, "I'm sorry, but my lawyer said not to get into a conversation with you." He confirmed he had the number and to have a good day.

Bank of America

Wouldn't you know, within another hour BOA called. It was another woman. She was just as friendly as the other two and confirmed they'd stop calling me and get further information from the lawyer. She asked a few of the same questions Chase did, but only what chapter and whether I had a case number yet.

It's over

And just like that all three creditors were informed that I'm filing bankruptcy. I thought this step would be hard, but honestly it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

The first big step was to stop paying my bills. The next was the time I spent dreading getting the collection calls and letters. Then admitting I was filing.

I'm still here. The earth didn't swallow me, nobody laughed or teased, and my heart didn't stop.

I CAN DO THIS.

Official Retainer

2010-04-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

Today I met with my lawyer again and officially retained him.

Lawyer Paperwork:

I signed a two-page document that clearly outlined what my lawyer was offering and at what price, what my responsibilities are, what extra work costs if above and beyond the normal bankruptcy proceeding, that all must be paid before filing, and so forth. I saw nothing disagreeable. I paid $200 out of the $1500 fee with the remainder to be paid when I turn in the packet of Chapter 7 paperwork.

Mom Advice:

The lawyer was concerned that she still has funds in her account. Becuase I could have gone in and taken money out (not that I would, but I could have), the trustee is going to think s/he can do so as well. However, since her income is solely from Social Security, which is exempt, there shouldn't be an issue. The money she received from her mother has been spent, as has her onetime tax stimulus credit that she got a few years ago.

The Process Now:

This is how the process is going to work from this point to filing:

I have to fill out the worksheet and make an appointment to go back to the office.
I have to gather a bunch of forms including any correspondance from creditors within the last 60 days, 6 months of bank statements, and so forth.
The lawyer and I will spend approximately an hour going through the worksheet line-by-line.
The paralegal will take the worksheet and put it into their computer system.
I meet with the other lawyer (the one who will be at my 341 meeting and who is also a trustee) to go over what's been put in.
Revisions are made if necessary.
The lawyer presses "send" and my Chapter 7 bankruptcy petition is officially filed.

Chapter 7 Paperwork:

I was given a very large worksheet of almost 40 pages to take home. This broke down the forms that the government uses into questions that make a lot more sense are are more user friendly. A few sections were confusing. Once I got the idea of how it was laid out it was much easier.

The paperwork also gave a "double-check" list to see if the filer may have missed any accounts. This was a long list of reminder is the form of "Do you have..." questions.

One thing that I did not like about the paperwork is that the order of "Yes" and "No" check areas were reversed frequently. Sometimes the first blank was for a yes check and othertimes it was for a no check.

I filled out the worksheet based on what forms I had previously filled out and it was very fast. I'm going to go back through and complete the few missing items now. That leaves the posession list. I think I can get that done today, revise it tonight with hubby's help, and check it tomorrow.

Reviewing Paperwork

2010-04-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

My lawyer meeting to "officially" retain his services and get all my paperwork is at 11:15.

Little does he know I'm coming armed with a ton of paperwork already started. I hope my appointment allotment allows us to start going over it and answer questions.

I have my list of things we need to discuss, a blank check to write a retainer fee, and an attitude of patience. Hopefully I also have a babysitter!

Easter

2010-04-04T06:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter (or whatever version of Spring celebration you participate in).

This weekend has been full of family and friends and it's gone by way too fast!

What Can They Take?

2010-03-31T06:19:00.000-07:00

My concern-focus has shifted over the past week or so.

I had been worried about what can they take, what's going to happen, etc. Now, as far as I'm concerned, they can have pretty much whatever they want. I just want to make sure I disclose everything and make sure that our somewhat complicated situation comes across as just that rather than as fraud, which it's not.

I'm still worried about mom's money. She's used the money for what she was saving it for and she doesn't want to spend the rest. I'm going to find a link I posted a few weeks ago that deals with our situation, write a rough draft of a letter, and have the lawyer look over it on Monday. It would be nice to have a document signed by her stating that I never had an equitable interest in the account, it was never meant to be half (or even less) mine, etc.

I'm a little disappointed in that I can't load up the car with stuff for Goodwill. Every few months I get the urge to purge and now that I'm working on our possession list it's come up again.

Revised Revised To Do list

2010-03-31T06:15:00.000-07:00

Change Banks

Yay! All complete except to make sure that our health insurance comes out of the correct account (mail in form for change has been sent, with plenty of time, but who knows if it will actually be processed in time) and the disability payment goes into the correct account. *crosses fingers* Everything on our end is finished, however.

Change Hubby's disability deposit - Pending
~~Change Hubby's paycheck direct deposit~~
~~Change account that life insurance comes out of~~
~~Change account that YMCA membership comes out of~~
~~Change account that Netflix comes out of~~
~~Change account that Paypal is linked to~~
~~Set up new bill pay through Landmark Bank~~
~~Take my name off mom's account~~
~~Take my name off our BOA joint account~~
~~Close my savings account and my checking account at BOA~~

Paperwork

~~Print worksheets off internet site~~
Complete rough draft for lawyer to look over - Mostly Complete
~~Copies of tax returns (2005-current just in case)~~
~~Copies of closed bank account statements (6 months, just in case)~~
Copies of W-2s from hubby - Now have past four, however waiting on filing date to know which we need or need future copies
Copy of hubby's disability letter - Have but not in pile of Chapter 7 stuff
3 months of bank statements prior to filing

BOA
Landmark
ING

Copy of Roth IRA statements - Have but not in pile of Chapter 7 paperwork
Possession List - In progress

Mom Assorted

Looks like I can't go any further until I talk to the attorney and find out what else she can do.

~~Prepay for cremation expenses~~
~~Pay off car~~
~~Purchase travel plane tickets for her yearly family trip~~

Yay! It's here!

2010-03-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

I checked our bank account and our tax refund is here! That's exciting news because it means I don't have to juggle April's funds to pay the lawyer a retainer on Monday. I can pay in full immediately.

Hooray!

Nothing New

2010-03-28T16:19:00.001-07:00

Nothing new to update... working on my paperwork for my appt. on Monday the 5th.

Decisions - April First(ish)

2010-03-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I'm going to split April's funds (those that I'm not using for paying off credit cards but can't save as well as the premium for my auto insurance as I paid the rest of the six months off in March) in the following manner:

$200 to retain the lawyer so we can start reviewing the paperwork I've completed
$400 to buy a package at the chiropractor (I'm double-checking that this is okay with my attorney first) as I get 12 treatments for the price of 10
$45 to get oil changes for both our cars (I have coupons for $17.95 + tax each)
$45 for my lady's wellness visit

In May I'm going to get my teeth cleaned, examined, and the three cavities that I've been ignoring filled (hopefully I won't need any more).

Ideally we'll be able to actually file by the second paycheck in May which means we can start saving money in June. *crosses fingers*

Sadness

2010-03-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

My mom's Neptune Society kit came via FedEx yesterday.

In it contains various contents including the urn that they provide for her to be placed in when its time.

I had been curious to examine the items to see if they're high quality... but I couldn't bring myself to do more than put the package on her recliner.

It strikes me as very, very sad. I hope I won't have to open the box for another twenty years.

Knowing all I have to do when she does finally pass is to call an 800# is comforting, however. It was a good use of her money, albeit a depressing one.

Revised To Do List

2010-03-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Change Banks

Change Hubby's disability deposit - Pending
~~Change Hubby's paycheck direct deposit~~
~~Change account that life insurance comes out of~~
~~Change account that YMCA membership comes out of~~
Change account that Netflix comes out of
Change account that Paypal is linked to
~~Set up new bill pay through Landmark Bank~~
~~Take my name off mom's account~~
~~Take my name off our BOA joint account~~
~~Close my savings account and my checking account at BOA~~

Paperwork

~~Print worksheets off internet site~~
Complete rough draft for lawyer to look over - Mostly Complete
~~Copies of tax returns (2005-current just in case)~~
~~Copies of closed bank account statements (6 months, just in case)~~
Copies of W-2s from hubby - Waiting on filing date
Copy of hubby's disability letter - Have but not in pile of Chapter 7 stuff
3 months of bank statements prior to filing

BOA
Landmark
ING

Copy of Roth IRA statements - Have but not in pile of Chapter 7 paperwork
Possession List - In progress

Mom Assorted

~~Prepay for cremation expenses~~
~~Pay off car~~
Purchase travel plane tickets for her yearly family trip

Lawyer Conversations

2010-03-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

On Friday I called the lawyer's office. His office assistant is also his wife. She's got over 20 years in the business and is extremely helpful in a motherly yet no-nonsense kind of way.

"I just wanted to let you know that our estimated tax refund is going to be April 13th."

"You know you can get started before you receive your refund, right?"

"No... how would that work?"

"You'd have to pay a small retainer and then we'd get you started on the paperwork."

I laughed. "How much is a small retainer?"

"A couple hundred dollars."

I laughed again. "Then we do have to wait until we get our refund."

"You realize you'll be filing near the end of May in that case? Unless it's an emergency."

"End of May? He told me about four weeks."

"Mid-April, about two weeks to file the paperwork, and about four weeks after that. Longer if you take longer to fill it out, less if you're more organized."

I thanked her. I didn't tell her I already have the paperwork filled out, at least as best I can without further guidance.

We're going to see if we can go ahead and give them a two hundred dollars with his next paycheck so that I can move forward with this.

This feels weird

2010-03-22T11:30:00.001-07:00

I've gotten notices from all three companies that I'm overdue. Chase has sent separate notices reducing my available credit and increasing my interest rate. BOA simply reminded me of a late fee.

After years of being so careful to pay everything on time, this just feels weird. Irresponsible. Shameful. But there's no sense in throwing more money in when I'm filing bankruptcy.

Sunday: More Phone Calls

2010-03-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

Capital One finally caught up with my yesterday.

I told her I was aware I missed the payment and was not sure when I'd be able to make a payment. I told her I was unemployed. She asked if it was due to health reasons and I laughed. No, it's due to economic reasons. She said she was sorry to hear that and that I should call them as soon as I had a better idea of my budget and they'd work on a payment plan with me.

We Want Our Money!

2010-03-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

The phonecalls started today.

Starting at just after 8:00 this morning both Capital One and Chase called. Both called almost every hour.

I finally was in a position to pick up one of the calls.

Things I noticed:

Chase was exceptionally polite. The guy expressed understanding and tried to get me to talk more about my situation. He also tried to get me to commit to paying the overdue amount by a specific date. He was interested in how much I thought I might be able to pay, even if it was only a small amount. He said he sympathized with my situation. He also was incredibly hard to get off the phone with, and I eventually had to hang up on him.

I've heard that collection calls are generally polite and continue to get more aggressive as time goes on.

I've also heard that they try to get as much information as possible so that they can use it to try and collect on the account.

Every time I pay a bill, even if it's only $5, it resets that "clock". If I paid nothing for the next seven years it would no longer be on my credit card and I wouldn't have to repay it. Any payment at all, no matter how small, resets that clock.

It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It took Chase 8 days to finally start calling me. I felt like I wanted to be a nice person and be polite. I didn't want to be a bitch. I also didn't want to tell him I was filing bankruptcy on this call. Why not? Because I wanted to see how the phone call would go if he thought he had a hope of recovering some money.

Capital One left a message this morning. "This is _______ and I have some information about an exciting opportunity available for you from Capital One. Please call me ASAP at _______." They called a few more times but I was at a wedding and missed all of them. I'm going to tell them the same thing.

Still no Bank of America calls. I'm sure that will change soon.

Priorities

2010-03-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

This post is more personal and has more details about decisions I need to make. It's not really relevant to bankruptcy or filing bankruptcy, but it is relevant to making choices that will affect our finances in the future.

Hubby cleaned out the A/C handler as best he could. The evaporator coils are free of dust and mildew, which is a huge improvement. It wasn't nearly as efficient or effective as the $350 cleaning would have been, but it's made a huge difference. The a/c actually sucks in air now and seems to work better.

There are still a few things that are demanding money right now, though.

One is that we've been putting off getting our teeth cleaned and cavities filled. We both have three or four cavities that, while small, do need to be taken care of. I estimate about $400 each. (We don't have dental insurance.)

The other is that I've been having horrible back and neck pain and finally decided to do something about it. I've had great success at the chiropractor. Each visit is $40. My insurance covers chiro, but the copay is $45.

I need to see the doctor soon as well. I'm due for my yearly well-woman check up. I also want to visit my husband's rheumatologist. The more I learn about fibromyalgia, the more I think it's a strong contender as an explanation for the symptoms I've been fighting with for half my life.

My GYN says that she thinks I have endometriosis but cannot diagnose me without laproscopic surgery. That's $2500 (the amount of my deductible). I think fibro explains my symptoms better.

I'm tired of being sick and tired. You know?

I need to be healthful. I need a healthy body, a healthy financial summary, and a healthy home.

Which is the priority? How do my goals need to change to fit this?

Feeling... Something

2010-03-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what I'm feeling today. I'm down, slightly depressed, dissapointed with myself, and really trying to remember that everyone makes mistakes and to be gentle with myself.

Mostly I feel humbled and a bit hypocritical.

My husband and I have never had problems in any area except money. We've never cheated on each other, we can discuss anything, we've learned and grown together, and in short been a perfect match. Money is the only thing that's been an issue.

We we first got together he had bad credit. He stopped paying everything after he got divorced. He had several checks at payday advance places, owed his gramma $500, and repeatedly bounced checks or overdrew his account. I told him all this was a deal breaker. I told him that it had to change.

And it would. Mostly. He'd make an honest mistake along the way and I'd be shaken and feel betrayed, pissed off, and have a hard time trusting him.

This is why I eventually took over all the bills.

Then, when I was consolidating my credit cards into a BOA Gold Loan I discovered that he had credit card debt he didn't tell me about. It was only $1200, but it was a huge deal. I was pregnant and trying to set things up so I could stop working and enjoy a few months of maternity leave.

I got approval for the loan, received the money, and discovered his card. I didn't have enough to pay off all my cards and his, so I had some debt remaining with Capital One.

It took us about three months to work out. We're okay now, but it was a horrible thing to go through and the timing was awful.

After taking over the finances I had a few booboos myself. Nothing huge. Three or four times of being a day or two late, and two instances of overdrawing an account. (One of them was not my fault, the other was.) I confessed each misdeed immediately. Hubby promptly forgave me each time.

I felt like our debt (all of which is mine since he had poor credit when we got together) was okay and acceptable because we discussed almost every purchase. Sometimes we were forced to use the card (car broke down) and other times we thought we were being smart. A few times we realized it was stupid but did it anyway.

Now I'm feeling like a horrible human being. I know, I know, I am not alone in the experience of drowning in debt. I'm not the only one who's in this situation. Medical expenses, business expenses, emergencies, and downright stupidity are a horrible combination.

I'm still feeling crappy. Who am I to be all high and mighty about a few bounced checks? And now I'm filing for bankruptcy. That's what my attention to detail and transparency led to. Good credit can lead to bankruptcy just as fast as bad credit.

On the other hand, even though we plan on being married forever and have a great relationship (perfect for each other and all that) I started to feel resentful today. Why do I have to be the one to ruin my credit? Why am I the one that has to have all this debt in my name or, alternatively, have the bankruptcy?

It made sense at the time. I had the good credit. I had the card offers and the higher limits. He couldn't get a credit car. But now... grr.

So many conflicting emotions in so little time.

I'm glad I started a blog. Even if no one ever reads this it gives me a chance to get what I'm feeling out there. I don't believe in bottling up emotion.

Still no calls...

2010-03-18T14:56:00.000-07:00

I still have not received a single call from any of the three credit lines I stopped paying on this month.

I did, however, receive my Chase bill.

My past due amount and current amount due total to just over $250. And, a friendly reminder, that if I pay before the due date my APR will not go up to 29.9%.

I was expecting to have a more emotional reaction to my first "you're late, pay up be-atch" communication. Nope.

I can't believe an almost 30% interest rate, but since I'm going to be including the account (and all my dischargeable debt) in my chapter 7 bankruptcy, I'm not too worried about it.

No Calls Yet

2010-03-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

Not paying my credit cards felt like a ballsy move for me. I've never ignored a bill before. Now, three.

The thing that I fear the most is the ringing of the phone. I'm over a week late for Chase and several days for Bank of America and Capital One.

The phone has not rang.

The only communication I've gotten thus far is a very polite form letter from Chase advising me that they've lowered my credit limit.

I have a feeling that in a few days I'll be writing a "well... they called" post.

Tax Refund Update

2010-03-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

We mailed our taxes on (best-guessing since I don't have my calendar in front of me) the 23rd of February. Our CPA told us that as long as the IRS audits more people who file electronically versus those who mail, they will not recommend electronic returns. So, we mailed it. At the time he told us that it was one to two week difference in the time it takes to process and direct deposit our money.

Well... I called the toll-free number that the IRS has on their website (the online form was having technical difficulties and recommended calling directly). Our refund is going to come on or before April 13th.

Crap. That's about another month.

I really wanted to start saving money as soon as possible. Yes, we're catching up on things that we need, stockpiling food, paying things in advance when it makes sense (car insurance, for example), and getting some medical attention we had been putting off... but I want to see our savings account grow! I want to get this over with!

Regrets: Not Sharing

2010-03-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

We talk about everything. I can't think of a topic that doesn't come up in our household. There's very little that is uncomfortable, including money.

Right now, however, I'm regretting the way we've handled our finances.

For the first few years he did everything. I paid "my" bills, which were few, and he handled all the household stuff.

Then I took everything over. He bounced a check or something and I got pissed and took it all over.

When he was running the show I never had any idea how much recreational money we had. I'd ask to go out and he'd say yes. Later he revealed that the money wasn't there but he didn't want to feel like a tool for telling me we couldn't eat out. Another time he bought a wii for us and an ipod for me within two weeks of each other because there was a surplus in the account.

When I was running the show I kept a tighter fist but it was all about my decisions. I figured out how much we could spend on (insert item here) and that was that. I told him the basic outlines of things and kept him appraised.

This time around we're going to work on this collectively. I think we're going to both have a say in the budget, our goals, our plans, and go from there. Maybe we'll have a meeting twice a month (around paycheck time, perhaps?) to check in and see how things are going.

Many of the mistakes we made could have been avoided if we were both more involved.

Thoughts From A Kick in the Assets: Top 10 Values

2010-03-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

"A Kick in the Assets" suggests finding out the values that really motivate you, rather than trying to fulfill your emotional needs by guessing.

And that makes sense.

The exercise is to make a list of your top ten values, carry it around with you, and match up your life choices with those values. Take pride in every time you work out, because your value is health, rather than just taking pride in losing the last 10 lbs. It makes sense.

Suggestions that the author makes: Freedom, Security, Honesty, Intelligence, Adventure, Learning, Resourcefulness, and about 34 others.

I'm looking at the list and trying to narrow down my top 10. If this will help me make better choices, then it's worth the time.

Love is a huge one. I want the people I love to know that I love them and to be secure in their love in return.

Relationships is another. I spend the majority of my "happy" time with other people. I love having a small group over for supper and conversation. Board games and card games could happen most nights out of the week. I like spending time with people and getting to know them.

Health... this is a huge one right now. I'm not that old and I feel like I'm falling apart. Health is my 2010 focus.

Creativity gives me a big kick. I love figuring out how to get the best deal, solving a problem, building something new, or making a piece of art for someone.

Thus far: Love, Relationships, Health, Creativity. Six more to go.

Learning should be on the list. I'm an information-gatherer. I like to take millions of bits of random knowledge, put them in the blender, and see what comes out. If I could be a professional student, that would be awesome. If I got paid for every class I got an A in and successfully completed I'd be thrilled.

Communication is a huge part of relationships, but it's important on its own as well.

Security never used to really be on the list, at least not consciously, but now that I'm aware of what that means to me it's quite a big one. Having my husband laid off two weeks before I gave birth made me realize how important this is. Owning our own home for the first time gives it new meaning.

Humor... a day without laughter is a bad day. I love making people laugh and laughing with them.

Confidence is something that I lack and I strive for. Conquering a challenging task and gaining that extra bit of confidence makes me feel like a million bucks. I would like to intentionally build my confidence.

Passion is important. That sense of "Oh my god I'm so excited about..." is thrilling and needs to come around more often in my life. I feel charged up for days when something excites me. Passion in the romantic sense is important as well.

My top 10:
Love
Relationships
Health
Creativity
Learning
Communication
Security
Humor
Confidence
Passion

I'm looking at this and wondering about whether that covers it. I have to feel useful in my relationships, so would that be a separate thing? I like to hold doors for people, give an ear to the stranger at the coffee shop, help the tourist find their way around. With friends I like to help with projects, connect them to someone else I know that can help, and so forth.

So which would I take away to add "being useful"? Also, I hate feeling obligated. I like to be generous but not feel taken advantage of. Those tie in to the being useful.

Could these all be manifestations of love? Showing someone that they are worth loving, worth taking time out for, and worth helping? That sounds like love to me.

Barnhart suggests taking that list and ordering them by importance. I think I want to sit on this for awhile before I take that next step.

Once I order them from 1-10 I need to make my wish list.

Four questions revolving around things I would like to DO, HAVE, SEE, and EXPERIENCE for each category. The author says that the more specific I can get, the better.

Thoughts From Your Money or Your Life: Part II

2010-03-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Life Energy.

Oh look. The new widget just came out. It seems fantastic. I really want it. And it's only $300.

My husband makes (let's say) $15/hour.

That means he will have worked 20 hours to give me the widget. Half of an entire work week has been spent toiling just so that I can have the latest and greatest.

The new widget cost us 20 hours of life energy. Was it worth it?

Maybe the new widget is. Maybe it's a game system that we spend thousands of hours playing, making each hour of entertainment come for pennies over its lifespan.

But maybe that $300 is from me being careless. I get pulled over and receive a $300 speeding ticket because I wasn't paying attention to where the speed limit changed and there was construction going on.

My husband now has spend twenty hours of life energy because I was merely distracted. That really sucks.

What if neither of us feel like cooking. Is our going out to eat for $30 worth two hours of his work? Wouldn't it be easier to spend fifteen minutes boiling some pasta?

This isn't really anything new or shocking, merely a reminder of a concept that's written about quite a lot in personal finance blogs and books.

But here's a twist...

Let's say that we charged that $300 gaming system and weren't able to pay it off. Assuming I have an interest rate of 15.99% (which is average for my current credit cards) and it takes me five years of payments on the cards to nail that specific purchase (I've been paying on the card but for stuff I had bought even before the $300 gaming system) there will now be $663.82 on the card. (Roughly, as that's with monthly interest compounding and not daily compounding.)

The game system has now cost us a full work week and five year's worth of stress. We probably resent the system because not only does it remind us of our poor decision making skills, it's also now available for $199. And, on top of that, the one we bought may not even be functional. What if it broke in year three?

Was the dinner out that I charged in 2002 for $35 worth $35 plus eight years of interest and stress? I couldn't even tell you what I ordered or if it was good.

I'm not trying to use this as a stick to beat myself over past purchases, but more as a yard stick for the future when credit tempts us. Once our debts are discharged it's up to us to resist. No one is going to look over our shoulders and shake their finger at us. It's going to be a test. Did we learn our lesson? Are we going to file bankruptcy again eight years from now? Hell yes, and hell no. But... it's easy looking at a computer screen, deeply in debt, in the process of filing chapter 7, to be strong and have resolve and to say things. Three years from now when the newest gadget comes out and "it's only $300" will be another story.

Thoughts From Your Money or Your Life

2010-03-13T08:10:00.000-08:00

I've just started reading the most recent pile of books. Here are my current "A-ha" moments from Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin.

"To Buy is Right" around page 18 in this edition. "Even the language of modern economics promotes consumerism. What else would we do with 'disposable income' besides dispose of it..."

Hmm. I never really thought about this before. I don't have a "disposable income" label on my Open Office but when I label it mentally, that's what I put on it.

Disposable income. We have the ability to dispose of it.

What if instead of "disposable" income it was "save-able" income. Or "improvement income". Maybe I should say to myself, "this income is earmarked to improve our life in the long-run. Whether that means making the house more energy efficient, paying off a debt, or increasing my emergency fund." Could simply changing the way I think about this money change the way I spend (or not spend) it?

Another interesting point: A progress report in 1929 by the Herbert Hoover Committee on Recent Economic Changes came up with a strategy that was new. A survey had been conducted and showed that "wants are almost insatiable; that one want satisfied makes way for another. The conclusion is that economically we have a boundless field before us; that there are new wants which will make way endlessly for newer wants, as fast as they are satisfied."

The beginning of the book also cites other studies that showed people of the income ranges studied were no happier at the top of the scale (over $4k/month income) than at the bottom of the scale ($1k/month income). Also with the giant leap in conveniences (dishwashers, A/C, two cars, etc.) Americans weren't any happier than before they had all the gadgetry. More is not better.

I've been thinking about this in my own way for a long time. It seems as though every time I get some long-awaited for object I suddenly find something else to save for and research. My favorite author just came out with a new book in the series that I love. I read it and now am jonesing for something else. We just harvested 3 lbs of tomatoes from our container garden; I'm already mentally moving on to "when are the rest of my plants going to produce?"

My father once said about my sister, "She used to drive me nuts. We'd be standing in line at the county fair and she'd already be picking out the next ride and would be getting anxious to move on to the next thing before we even went on the ride we were standing in line for."

That statement hurt me because I recognized that was true for me as well. I see that in myself and many of my friends.

I'm excited to see what other little gems are hidden in these pages.

Everything has a cost. Every purchase is a choice.

2010-03-13T07:26:00.000-08:00

The true cost of convenience foods is a recent topic over at The Simple Dollar (my favorite personal finance blog). It really reminded me of why making substantial financial choices can be overwhelming.

Every single thing I purchase is making a choice. It's leading us towards or away from financial security.

If I choose to take two minutes out of my daily route to get the gas that's $.03/gallon less, that's making a choice.

If I choose to buy the pre-chopped celery, that's a choice.

If I choose to take the family out for wings rather than make my own, that's a choice.

Every moment of every day. And it's frustrating!

Becoming aware that this is the case is overwhelming. It seems too big.

A friend of mine just stopped drinking Pepsi. He posted a status update on Facebook asking for help and support with his decision. Some of his friends joked around and some of us took it seriously. I just talked to him. He's four weeks without a softdrink. "Wasn't as life changing as I had hoped."

But at least he identified something to change and did so successfully! I'm so proud of him for doing that. It might not have lead to any epiphany or saved his life, but it was a change that he wanted to make. A small change.

My journey is a series of small changes.

Post Labels

2010-03-12T06:03:00.000-08:00

You may notice that all of my posts thus far are tagged "before we filed".

This is because my intention is to allow readers to easily find posts from before we filed, during the bankruptcy process, and after the discharge.

To Do List Update

2010-03-12T05:23:00.000-08:00

The only payees we need to still transfer to our new account are:
- YMCA
- Netflix
- Paypal

We've officially gotten me off all joint BOA accounts. Our sole BOA account is in my husband's name only and will be closed as soon as we confirm that his disability comes to our new checking.

My mom's prepaid for her cremation and paid off her car. I have an idea of how I'm going to have her word a letter that will possibly protect us both based on my research (and subject to the review of our lawyer).

I have quotes for new homeowners insurance and health insurance so that we know what's going to happen later in the year when rates go up. (Our homeowners is dropping us in August so we're switching in late April so that it's before hurricane season but we can continue to get the benefit of a lower rate until then.) We decided to stick with our current BCBS plan with the lower deductible and switch early next year when the deductible resets.

New Goals: Part 4

2010-03-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

I think it's important to brainstorm and then finalize goals for after our bankruptcy discharge and for the future. This small series will be devoted to outlining some of the ones I've been thinking about.

Long Term Goals

Now that we've (in theory) saved up some money, paid off my hubby's student loans, and paid off my student loans (they'll be gone after 10 years as well) it's probably about 2021. I'll be 41 and my daughter will be 14. My husband will be 50.

At this point we'll spend the next ten years paying off our mortgage.

I used BOA's amortization calculator and found out we'd be able to do this easily.

Now, assuming that I'm working a full time job (worst case scenario, let's say $20k a year) without daycare expenses (she'll be in school) and my hubby is working full time still (probably $45k by then) we'll be able to do this even faster.

OR

We can also save for our retirement.

I'm debating on how much to help our daughter for college. Before I always said she can take out loans and work like I did, but now that I realize the impact non-dis chargeable student loans can have, I'm seriously considering doing the Florida Pre-Paid Plan. I'll look into that and maybe adjust our goals accordingly.

Review

- Save enough for an emergency fund that will cover vehicle replacement, a/c replacement, water heater replacement, etc.
- Pay off student loans in 10 years.
- Pay off mortgage in next 10 years.
- Save for retirement and possibly Fl-prepaid college fund.

What are YOUR goals?

If you're in the process of filing bankruptcy, what are you going to change afterward? Where are your extra payments (the ones you've been making on your dischargeable debt) going to go? Leave a comment and let me know!

Today, Today, Today

2010-03-09T11:44:00.000-08:00

Yikes.

A/C guys just came. I hired them for the $28 duct cleaning special (with free dryer vent cleaning). Our A/C desperately needs cleaned and I thought this would be a good stop-gap measure until we had the money to do so.

August 09 we bought this house and had the A/C inspected. There's mold, dust, and general gunk in the handler. Cost to disassemble and clean everything is around $700.

Guys showed up today. Told me that I should save my $28 because it was so bad as soon as the a/c turned back on... it would pretty much be a waste of money.

And then, "you really need to take care of this, ma'am."

"I know."

"Do you want to see this for yourself?"

"I know. I saw in August."

"Why haven't you done anything about it?"

"I don't have money."

"What's your budget."

"Look, I'm filing for bankruptcy. There's no money. I'm sick all the time and it's frustrating as hell."

He understood. The second guy came back up and took a look. "Oh my god. This is awful. You really need to do something about this."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"No money."

"Doesn't your husband have a job, ma'am?"

So I repeated that I was filing for bankruptcy.

"Are you keeping the house or what?"

"We just bought it. It was a foreclosure. We're keeping it. But we had to make choices like keeping the kitchen sink from exploding versus cleaning the A/C. Guess which we picked."

They wrote me an estimate, were very polite, and headed out.

Damnit.

About $700.

I know they're not pulling my chain. I've seen it. And I'm allergic to dust and have asthma and we've all been sick. But it's one more thing we need to take care of.

So my plan?

I'm tracking down videos on youtube and tutorials on DIY sites to see if we can do this ourselves. Failing that, I'm going to ask my best friend who's now a VP but used to be an A/C tech a lifetime ago if he might be able to help.

How do I feel?

They were very nice, but I felt defensive. I told them about the bankruptcy just to shut them up. I feel bad that I've known about this for seven months and haven't taken care of it. I feel bad that I have an almost-70 year-old in my house in poor health, and a toddler, and the two of us, both who have asthma and allergies, and I've not made it a priority.

Grr. Today's a rough day.

I Am Not Alone

2010-03-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

I haven't told anyone other than my mother or my husband about my plans. I did, however, make a comment to a friend about having to spend money or it wouldn't be available. I forget my exact phrasing. I thought I was justifying our Target spree (stocked up on toilet paper, hand soap, diapers, and other necessities).

My friend didn't say anything.

But the other night her husband casually mentioned something about his prior bankruptcies. They didn't pick up the topic, it was just casually dropped.

I was really surprised.

Then my husband told me that he didn't mind if that couple know. It probably wouldn't get back to his boss and if it got back to someone like his best friend, who cares? His best buddy had filed bankruptcy once upon a time.

He did?

I've known him for years and he's never mentioned it.

My mom, several friends, and who else? I wonder how many people I know have gone through a bankruptcy?

New Goals: Part 3

2010-03-08T18:55:00.000-08:00

I think it's important to brainstorm and then finalize goals for after our bankruptcy discharge and for the future. This small series will be devoted to outlining some of the ones I've been thinking about.

Goals for the Next 11 Years (10 years after our year of savings)

I did a rather elaborate spreadsheet to figure out how our finances could go over the next 10 years. This is assuming one income, plus hubby's disability, plus mom's gift (or whatever funds replace that gift), so it's not fool proof.

(In fact, chances are that once our child is in 2nd or 3rd grade, I'll be working a full time job. I might choose to go back to school myself, and I'd really love to do that, but it's not certain.)

Once our year of savings has passed we're going to pour all our extra money into paying off hubby's student loans.

He owes $60,000 at a reasonable interest rate.

Paying his payment of $325/month he'd take roughly 15 years to pay it off.

If we make payments of $500/month plus whatever else we can spare we'd be able to pay it off in about ten years.

Again, it's not exact as I didn't calculate interest which will be about $2250 a year.

We should be able to pay that as my student loans will be $100/month, roughly, and his will be $325/month. That's still less than the $600/month we're currently paying (and just getting by on if we ignore other essentials) for credit card debt.

From the Library Today

2010-03-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

I got the following books from the library today. I'm trying to get my post-CH7 budget in order and educate myself so I don't screw up again.

As I read each I'm going to try and note quotes or thoughts that I have that were particularly relevant to me. This isn't so much a book review as it is a "what I got from the book" type of post.

After all, this blog isn't just about the stress and decisions and mistakes that lead up to filing bankruptcy. It's also about making life changes that will help us make the better choices.

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace Revisited

Dominguez's Your Money or Your Life

Nemeth's The Energy of Money

Barnhart's A Kick in the Assets

What to tell our daughter

2010-03-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

I'm currently reading How To Raise Financially Fit Kids.

It's made me think about something.

When our daughter is older, how much do we tell her about our bankruptcy?

She won't know any different, being 2, but eventually the topic might come up.

Should it be part of her financial education? I believe, wholeheartedly, that the only purpose of an allowance is to teach her about money. It's not a reward, a bribe, or something she deserves. It's a teaching tool.

I want her to be much more financially literate than I was.

It's odd, really. I can see how my parents would have assumed that I was financially literate. After all, I've had a job since I was 14 years old. I was excellent at saving money for things I really wanted even when I was only 6. (I paid cash for a Gameboy, $99 back in the mid-80's, that I had saved up all by myself.)

I knew how to balance a checkbook. I knew how to put money in my savings account.

But what I didn't know was how to use credit.

I also didn't know about compound interest. I would like to have learned about that long ago and used it to my advantage rather than becoming a victim of it.

(Sidenote: A salesperson I used to work for once tried to explain compound interest to me when I was 20 in relation to retirement savings. I nodded and let my eyes glaze over as I wondered how many highlighters one man really needed. Why didn't I pay attention? Grr.)

I don't blame my parents. I'm just not surprised that I ended up in a situation very similar to where my father was before he died. (The same situation that led him and my mother to bankruptcy.)

I'm agreeing with the concept list in HTRFFK. It's a nice idea for various targets and goals to cover with kids. The book also suggests ways to do this for different ages. I'm going to make my own list.

Back to the topic at hand, however. Do I tell her about the bankruptcy?

I believe in being honest with kids. I want her to know that there are consequences to abusing credit and not being realistic about your situation. I want her to see that people can recover from the bottom of the barrel financially. I want her to know that mommy and daddy can admit they made a mistake and ask for help. That a strong marriage makes it through the toughest of times by supporting each other rather than turning against each other.

I don't want her to throw it in our faces, spread the word around to her friends (and their parents) or otherwise abuse the knowledge like most teenagers are wont to do.

Of course, no one says we have to tell her as a teenager.

Hmm. Would you tell your children about your bankruptcy?

Compound Interest

2010-03-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

"You work 40 or so hours per week, but interest works 168 hours per week against you. You stop for food and water, interest never stops. It may be small amounts if your balances are low, but taken over a lifetime, compound interest will own you. You have to break the cycle and get rid of your debts."

http://quitbeinglazy.com/2009/12/interest-the-most-powerful-force-in-the-universe/

New Goals: Part 2

2010-03-06T14:40:00.000-08:00

I think it's important to brainstorm and then finalize goals for after our bankruptcy discharge and for the future. This small series will be devoted to outlining some of the ones I've been thinking about.

Goals for Savings

As a review we'll have about $8500 (we hope) in savings by June 2011. This money is to serve as our emergency fund. We know we're going to have to replace our water heater within the next few years and our A/C within the next five, probably sooner. We'll also need to replace my car (13 years old currently, with almost 200,000 miles on it) sometime soon and likely have some repairs to keep it running as long as possible. We hope all of that will be covered and we can pay cash as much as possible.

Goals for Mom

I would like to be in a position where if mom decides to move out or something happens to her we'll be able to pay all our bills and still save some money. Right now she gifts us $500/month. If she changed her mind or needed her money for something else, we'd be screwed. Completely and totally. So being financially secure without her gift is a big goal.

Goals for Rebuilding Credit

- Start repaying my student loans in October 2010. I've never been late on a payment, and I'm going to be even more vigilant in the future.

- Get a secured credit card that reports to the credit agencies without labeling it as "secured". Use it to pay for gas only and pay it off monthly. Convert this to an unsecured card as soon as I can.

OR

- I have several cards that have no balance on them. Assuming they don't cancel my account I intend to use them as mentioned above and pay them off each month.

Since I will not be purchasing a house (hubby already did that) or financing a new car (we intend to get a reliable older car and pay cash for it) I think that will be my plan for the next 24 months.

Hubby agreed that if we get divorced before I rebuild my credit that he will help me out as much as possible. We don't plan on ever separating, but we usually discuss "worst case" scenarios with big decisions and make fair and logical choices before the situation has a change to come up. Deciding it then would be too emotional.

If he should, God forbid, die in the next few years, I would be able to collect his life insurance and would have time to reestablish credit.

Based on those things I think a less stressed approach will work over the next 2 years and then we'll see where we're at.

That wasn't as bad as I thought...

2010-03-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

I didn't cry or get emotional. I didn't crack (too many) inappropriate jokes.

The lady who came to our house from Neptune was very respectful, established a rapport with my mom quickly, and refrained from being pushy. She was pleasant to be around.

My mom signed up.

The total was just under $2,200 and included the travelers provision.

It's quite a peace of mind to know that when the time comes all I have to do is call the 1-800 number and her body will be picked up within an hour, everything taken care of. The company has no debt, an excellent BBB rating, and holds the money she's paid in trust to guarantee it will be there when she passes. No matter where in the world she is when she passes they'll get her back to me.

And, as she said, "It has to be done anyway, and that's money you won't have to spend."

Getting Nervous

2010-03-05T14:59:00.000-08:00

It's 2:59 and our appointment with the Neptune rep is at 3:00. I'm nervous and stressed about it. On edge waiting for the doorbell to ring. It's not a pleasant topic.

Cremation - Thus Far

2010-03-05T09:53:00.000-08:00

Mom's "burying money" is at risk so we're trying to get her to prepay for her cremation (her choice) and then use the rest of the money to benefit her by paying off her car loan and freeing up $200/month for her to use for other stuff.

This is a summary of what I've learned so far:

- Prepaying funeral homes is not necessarily a great idea. They can go out of business, things you pay for may no longer be available (applies more to caskets than to urns) and the new models may be more expensive, etc.

- Direct cremation skips the funeral home entirely and is less expensive.

- There are a number of options for urns. Each pound of person's weight will equal one cubic inch of space, so use their weight to determine how large of an urn they need. (I believe a 10" urn holds up to 175 lbs of person?)

- Not all prepaid plans include transportation of the body, an urn, or a staff that's available 24/7. Many do not list prices online, though some do.

- There are far more creative ways to dispose of ashes than I had known about. However, we're going to keep her ashes and my father's ashes. I like the idea of the cremation reef, though. The diamond idea seems fairly shady (how do you know that you're getting your loved ones back?) but interesting.

Paid off!

2010-03-05T05:27:00.000-08:00

My mom couldn't figure out how to log into her car loan provider so I had to assist her. One phone call to an 800# and twenty minutes later the balance was set to be paid off.

The amount was just under $7,000 which leaves about $3k in her savings and $4k in her checking.

There is a lady from Neptune Society who will meet with me either today or tomorrow about prepaid direct cremation. I estimate that will be less than $1,400. That still leaves us with a little more to benefit my mom before we file.

Why do I phrase it like that?

It doesn't make sense for her to run out and buy stuff she doesn't need. If she's going to do something or need something later anyway, then she can pay for it now, enjoy it now, and not have that expense in a few months or on a regular basis. Paying off her car frees up $200 a month that she can use in other ways.

I still feel badly about her having to do this, but I'd feel worse if the trustee decided to take it and leave her with nothing.

New Goals: Part 1

2010-03-04T08:38:00.000-08:00

I think it's important to brainstorm and then finalize goals for after our bankruptcy discharge and for the future. This small series will be devoted to outlining some of the ones I've been thinking about.

Goals for After Discharge

- Open up a savings account with Landmark Bank

- Have hubby's work direct deposit part of his income directly into the savings account.

- Close the multiple Ingdirect accounts we've opened, keeping one Orange Checking and one savings account for our emergency fund. It was helpful to be able to categorize our savings into specific named accounts (Ie: car repair fund, house downpayment fund) but it's become complicated and we've got Quickbooks, so there's no reason to do it that way anymore.

- Setup our accounting in Quickbooks (which we bought a few years ago when I had my own business) instead of using a spreadsheet (I love Open Office, by the way, and highly recommend it).

- Reduce our spending. Hopefully our garden will help with this in a few months.

- If we don't get them done before filing, get our teeth cleaned, examined, and cavities filled in April.

- See a dermatologist for a cancer screening. We've been putting this off, but it's terribly important in Florida and our insurance covers it.

Between filing and June 2011

Hubby's student loans come due June 2010. We're going to put them off one more year and save as much as possible. When mine come due in October 2010 I'm going to start paying on them again. Ideally we'll have about $8500 saved by June 2011.

One of the Best Things

2010-03-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

One of the things that led up to our CH7 decision was the series of layoffs we both experienced.

However, the most recent layoff was one of the best things that could have happened to us.

I was pregnant and two weeks away from my due date when my husband got laid off. We spent those weeks playing cribbage, finalizing stuff around the house, cuddling, and really enjoying our time together. It was at the end of the year and there weren't many companies to send resumes to or temp jobs to apply for. So, we decided to enjoy the time.

Part of the reason we were able to do this was because the layoff before that one resulted in a small severance package. Between that, my hubby's disability, and unemployment, we were okay for three months.

Hubby resolved to start looking in earnest in mid-January and we settled in to wait.

I had my baby. A homebirth, in case anyone's interested. My daughter was born just before Christmas.

The next ten weeks were amazing. My husband fell in love with our baby and became a doting father. He helped me recover from the birth, held my hand through the difficulties I had with breastfeeding (moderate-to-severe mastitis in both breasts!), became a whiz at changing diapers (pun intended), and bonded like crazy with her.

He got a job offer right before our savings ran out.

Notice that there is not a "regrets" label on this post. We are so thankful for this time. Yes, we would be in a financially better place if we could have used our savings to pay off debt or put a bigger down payment on our home, but in hindsight the time together was far more valuable. Not all layoffs are bad things. Sometimes they're a gift.

Apologies

2010-03-01T06:22:00.001-08:00

I'm not necessarily ashamed at having to file bankruptcy. I feel like we should have known better, done better, done differently, but I'm not squirming about it. I do feel like I need to apologize constantly to my mom, though.

Why?

Because she has a lot of money that she needs to spend and it's because of me. She can't sit and enjoy the financial security. There's a large change the trustee will decide half that money can be used to pay off my creditors.

I've been pressuring her, lightly, to figure out what to do sooner rather than later. And I feel horrible about it. The longer she waits, though, the longer it will be until I can file. And that means that I might go from being 30 days late to 60 or 90.

Sometimes I feel like my mom will go along with things that she doesn't really want. I don't know why I feel that way. There's a line with parents between support and weak boundaries, and I don't know how to define where hers is.

When we bought a used car she helped us by buying one as well and we both got awesome deals. She needed a new car, and she didn't really care what she drove, but I still felt bad then. I don't want to take advantage of her. She's my mom.

More To Do List Things Done

2010-03-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

- Life insurance forms to change bank accounts have been faxed.
- Form to change BCBS bank account has been mailed.
- Remainder of car insurance for this six-month period has been paid.
- Several household items have been replaced (such as the garbage cans that were literally crumbling.)
- Receipts have found a place to be kept.
- Disability has been contacted about bank account change.
- Hubby has changed deductions to Married-3 based on CPA's advice and we've requested his direct deposit to be changed.

My Favorite Financial Blog

2010-02-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

It might seem weird for me to offer my favorite blogs on the topics of saving money and being frugal. I'm filing bankruptcy, right? So what would I know?

I have to say that over the last two years we've become significantly more responsible with our money. We're paying for things that we charged long ago as well as for a drop in our income after I had my child. I feel like I have a pretty good handle on our day-to-day and future funds.

The Simple Dollar is my hands-down favorite blog. It's the only one I subscribe to via email and read every day. All the others I check in with on occasion.

No Credit Needed is another blog I enjoy quite a bit.

Five Cent Nickel

There are a few others; I'll dig them up when I get a chance.

Books

2010-02-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I mentioned a book called Maxed Out. I also mentioned a few others.

I haven't opened Raising Financially Fit Kids yet.

I started Credit Card Nation. The author of Maxed Out makes a comment about CCN, basically saying that it's a dry read. I agree.

It's overly-complicated. I hate it when I feel like an author is trying to impress me by using as many large words as possible in a sentence. I have a large vocabulary, so it's not that I don't know what the words mean... there's a flow and ease of reading that allows me to absorb the text much more quickly when it's not written in an overly-complicated manner. It's part of the reason I love reading blogs. I love the personal and conversational tone.

Maxed Out was written so that it was easy (and amusing) to read. Credit Card Nation is sitting on my bookcase. I haven't read past the first three pages and I probably won't.

I'm about a third of the way through Getting Credit After Bankruptcy. Hmm. Where to start on this one.

(Provided so you can see what book I'm talking about; this is one I don't recommend buying.)

First of all I'm not impressed. I've even outright laughed, scoffed, and harrumphed while reading. The sole qualifications of the authors seem to be that they went out and gained credit after filing bankruptcy. And while "been there, done that" anecdotal evidence is often important to me when getting advice from a friend, I'm not sure it qualifies me to trust someone to my financial future.

Some sections of the book seem downright thrown in as an after-thought. For example there are 32 suggestions on how to save money. These are clearly outdated and random. Sending letters rather than calling is no longer a good strategy. Giving up the beloved family pet is a rather callous suggestion. Whole books and blogs have been devoted to saving money... it's a topic with far more scope than a two-page chapter can cover.

The author offers biased opinions that are offensive at times. Not really offensive, and not enough to make me not want to finish the book, but I don't feel that the personal bias adds anything to the experience. (Example: Complaining about driving an American-made car, because that's all they could get approved for.)

Finally (and remember this is not a whole book review, just my first impressions), I think the advice goes against my personal goals for bankrutpcy. I DO want to reestablish credit, of course, but I'm not going to run out and lease a car. Leasing a car is one of the first action steps (after opening a checking and savings account, getting a credit card, etc.) the author recommends. After that is getting a home-equity loan.

Their list of qualifications (their approved credit) is long and impressive. Getting approved for and charging furniture and, later in a different establishment, a camera? They eschewed going cash-only though it was their initial goal, but it seems overboard. It just strikes me like all of these things would be horrible temptation for someone who can't control their spending. How many open lines of credit do we need? How many cards?

Again - I'm no expert. I've changed my opinions about a lot of things several times as I've learned more. I shake my head and laugh at my prior ignorance. So I might be judging this one too harshly.

Links to the other books I mentioned:

First Look at Paperwork

2010-02-26T15:02:00.000-08:00

On this website I found a list of free documents for my district that are needed to file for bankruptcy.

I printed out the free bankruptcy forms, looked them over, and went back and filled in as much as I can with what I have in front of me (and while watching my toddler).

First thoughts: Damn, I just killed a lot of trees. They don't provide enough room for some things. The instructions provided on the forms aren't very clear, and I'm glad I have an attorney on my side as well as internet for reference.

Second thoughts: Is there less oxygen in here? Gasp...

Third thoughts (after resuscitation): I pity the people who have to look at legal forms day in and day out. Especially with all the mistakes people must make. Yikes!

Another relevant parent/child article

2010-02-26T12:02:00.001-08:00

Link

Regrets: Not Planning

2010-02-26T10:27:00.000-08:00

I didn't find out about various ways of budgeting until a few years ago. When it was too late. I used to just say, "these are the bills that happen every month, we'll pray for windfalls to cover the rest." Okay, I didn't actually say that, but my actions did.

I currently like two theories of budgeting:

Zero-Based Budgeting and FSA Budgeting

Zero-Based is the kind of budgeting that would have kept us out of debt. We used to look at our account at the end of the month and say, "Hey, all our bills are paid, we have an extra $40, let's go out to eat again."

With Z-B you figure out all your income, all your expenses, and then make the total 0 at the end of the month. EVERY dollar is earmarked for something. And if you find your electric bill was $20 under what you had budgeted, that $20 immediately gets allocated to something else.

For years we would spend the "extra" without really thinking of it. Even though we had big expenses coming up, things we needed to plan for, debt to pay off, we'd spend it. I can't tell you how many $20 Target items we've added onto our household good shopping trips because "we could afford it".

FSA Budgeting--probably not the correct technical name, but it's what I call it--means taking all your non-monthly/irregular expenses and breaking them down over 12 months.

Let's say my normal bills total $2000 a month. But then I pay my car insurance every 6 months ($600) so that I get a bigger discount, get my teeth cleaned twice a year ($80 each time) plus an exam (another $50, let's say). I also need three oil changes a year ($30 each) and new windshield wipers ($20).

Car Insurance ($1200) plus ($160) plus ($50) plus ($90) plus ($20) = 1520.

1520 over the course of 12 months is about $127.00.

So my expenses aren't really $2000 a month or $2127 a month, but the latter gives me a chance at making sure all my occasional expenses don't fall through the crack.

Some of my actual FSA categories are:

HOA Fees
Dentist Appts
Car Maintenance (oil changes, wiper blades, etc.)
Car Repairs
Car Replacement
Doctor's Visits
Christmas/Birthdays/Holidays/Gifts
License Renewal
AC and Large Appliance Replacement

Now... have I been putting anything into my FSA account? No. I'm falling far, far, short of what I need. That's part of the reason I'm having to file. Not only are we living paycheck-to-paycheck, we're only paying our basic expenses and minimum payments.

If I had the same combination of Z-B and FSA budgeting that I use now, things would have been really different.

Can I consider this a very expensive financial education? I guess.

Do I wish I had done many things differently? Hell yes. I would have less clutter, less stress, and far less debt.

So my regret is not planning beyond my immediate comfort and needs.

Pre-Bankruptcy Payments Have More Impact than Bankruptcy Itself

2010-02-26T06:41:00.000-08:00

Article About This

Is it worth $600 to have less impact to my credit score?

Today is February 26th.

My due dates for debt are March 6, 12, and 14. We should receive our tax refund sometime in March and as soon as we do we're going to get started on our paperwork.

The attorney said it often takes 4 weeks to get everything finalized for paperwork before filing. I'm extremely organized as far as important things are concerned and can probably have most, if not all, of what I need before I even retain the attorney. Then it's a matter of transferring it onto the correct forms.

So chances are--as long as my mom's situation get straightened out--I'll only be 30 days (because it's less than 60) late on three accounts, all of which were previously current.

Is it worth $600 to avoid a hit to my credit?

From what I've read a 30 day late payment can affect you for 1-2 years. However, this article also points out that credit sometimes improve because the income to debt ratio improves so much. Will those two factors cancel each other out?

Things to ponder...

Not quite my situation, but I want to remember this

2010-02-26T06:35:00.001-08:00

Resulting Trust

Maxed Out

2010-02-25T16:45:00.000-08:00

On Monday I got a bunch of books from the library. Credit Card Nation, Rebuilding Credit After Bankruptcy, and Raising Financially Fit Kids.

I started with Maxed out and finished it on Wednesday.

I highly recommend it. I was shocked and amazed by some of the things I read about the spiral of debt, predatory lending, "deadbeat" customers, pawn shops vs. credit cards and banks, legislation, national debt, and other topics.

This is an amazon.com link but I found my copy at the library and highly recommend reading for free whenever you can. One of my old budget-busters was books. If I walked into a Barnes and Noble I'd spend up to $100 at the drop of a hat on books. Now I pay about $30 a year in late fees and read between 75-100 books a year. Significant savings, and I recommend it.

Due Dates: Huge Relief

2010-02-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

I pay my bills on two separate days.

Due Date: between 2nd and 15th Paid: on the second
Due Date: between 16th and 1st Paid: on the 16th

I was fretting over my BOA account and the right of setoff and paying them for March just to buy myself extra time. I always pay them on the 2nd, so therefore in my mind I only had until the 2nd. Right?

I got my account statement in the mail and saw it's not actual due until the 12th. My Capital One card due date is the 14th. Chase is the 6th, but I'm not worried about them.

HUGE relief. I will be able to get most things transferred over by the 15th. My plan is to have my name taken off the joint account and then as soon as hubby's first VA disability check hits the new account, we'll close the old one.

If the do catch me for right of set off then at least there won't be a lot of money in the account.

Which means I can use that $350 payment for something else.

YAY!

Spending Money

2010-02-24T17:17:00.000-08:00

Because we're living paycheck to paycheck, we have ignored so many things that we actually need. I haven't had a chance to stock up as much, we've stretched out the time between replacing things that are worn out (A/C filter and toothbrush heads come to mind), and have otherwise been unable to spend much.

On the date that we file, any money that we have in our bank account is potential fair game for the trustee. Once the bankruptcy has been electronically filed, we can start saving again. Until then, however, we have a few things to spend. And that means we can catch up!!!

We had a very small amount in savings ($600), $159 of which went to the CPA. That leaves $440 or so. We're getting about $200 more than we need to file Chapter 7 from our tax return (excuse me, refund). And, because we won't be paying credit cards, we'll have about $600.

I am so excited!

My plans:

- Pay off the remaining six-month car insurance policy balance so that will free up $108 a month from now until June.
- Get both my and hubby's teeth cleaned and examined.
- If possible, fill some cavities.
- Replace the air filter in my air purifier (long overdue) and the filter in my vacuum cleaner (years overdue), and the A/C filter with a washable one so we can stop throwing money after it.
- Stock up on diapers and wipes and have a spare tube of toothpaste and deodorant and other items around. Hopefully I can match up some coupons and sales.
- Replace hubby's falling-apart undies and socks.
- Get my epi-pen filled (nut allergy).
- Oil changes for both cars.

I'm also going to spend a little more at the grocery store so that we have some food in the chest freezer and pantry. I made out pretty well at Publix's Italian Sale, but I'd like something other than canned tomatoes and tuna fish around, you know?

It feels weird not to try and hold onto every penny, but we can either get caught up on our needs or hand the money over to the trustee.

CPA Meeting

2010-02-24T05:16:00.000-08:00

I met with our CPA on Monday. I was grateful that they had moved my appointment up by a few weeks; I needed to get our refund faster so that I can file bankruptcy.

He's worked for us since 2004 and I'm quite pleased with him. Because I used to have a corporation (not nearly as impressive as it sounds) all the possible deductions and such were overwhelming. We met him at the school during our business classes. A large part of his client list are massage therapists so he is aware of things specific to our business.

Last year we closed our business. Corporations offer some protection, but I didn't have enough business to justify all the extra fees. 2009 tax filing was partially to officially close our business at a federal level. (We'd already done so at the state level.) We also did our personal taxes.

I walked in and explained that I needed copies of our past tax returns. I have them, but they're in a box, stapled in nice little binders, and I didn't want to have to locate them, dissemble them, copy them at Kinkos, and then put them back together.

"Is this for a loan?"

"No. Um... it's for something with a lawyer."

"Something I need to know about?"

(Very meekly) "I'm thinking about filing CH7."

"You're not alone. You'd be surprised how many people I know in the same boat. How many years do you need?"

I know that the initial request will be for the previous three years and that the trustee can request previous years, so I asked for 2005 onward. He printed them up, stapled business and personal separately, paper clipped each year together, and handed me the stack. He was extremely supportive.

I had sent him an email confirming the amount that our return would cost this year. Apparently I worded it ambiguously and he misread it. He didn't realize we needed to do a final filing for the corporation this year. He was going to give me a deal by making our personal less since he had forgotten and charge the standard rate for the final return.

I bust into tears. I told him I had made sure in the email to ask. He felt bad and reassured me, told me he'd never bait and switch me, and that it was an honest mistake. He realized if he had looked further into his system it would have been clear what we needed to do this year and would have been better prepared. He took what he remembered for granted and didn't check into it.

He apologized some more and told me again he'd never do this on purpose. He told me he'd go ahead and eat the cost and just charge us for our personal return.

It feels SO AWFUL to be in a situation where an extra and unexpected $125 makes me panic and realize how close to broke we are. That's why I was crying. It was a horrible feeling.

I cried again when I found out we were getting more than we needed to file Chapter 7. My husband had about $1500 taken out over the year and we barely qualified for the earned income credit. I wasn't aware of several other credits this year and none of the online calculators I had used (probably because they were for calculating EIC) mentioned it.

Not only am I getting $1500 for the attorney, I'll have $299 for filing, and the additional funds for the before and after classes!

On top of that I'll have a couple hundred dollars extra. Not a lot, but enough to get my teeth cleaned, which I'd been putting off for awhile.

Another very important thing that I got out of this meeting was how we acknowledge my mom's presence. "Renting" is incorrect. First of all it's not a choice we'd make with the tax ramifications. Secondly, no lease of any kind exists. She is "gifting" us $500 a month. It still counts for the means test (and we still pass) but it doesn't make the sale of our home taxable, and since it's under $13,000 a year there aren't any tax penalties on the money.

Our CPA also told us that our bank (BOA) is particularly aggressive. Same thing I keep hearing from other people. I can't verbalize the weight off my shoulders it has been to know I'm no longer on my mom's account. And while I still have a huge to do list for transferring my bank account, it doesn't feel as hard as I had envisioned it.

Why Landmark?

2010-02-22T16:49:00.000-08:00

I've chosen to open our new banking account at Landmark Bank of FL.

Why?

When I had a business I was a Chamber member and met one of the branch managers. He took me to lunch with an associate of his and we had a nice chat. They're nice people.

Over the next few years I had his personal cell number and email and could get in touch with any issues I had. They helped me out with a few things that were very stressful, mostly involving accepting credit cards as a merchant.

Because of that I'm going to give them our personal business as well.

Impressed. Called Back!

2010-02-22T10:23:00.000-08:00

There was a question about my exemption amount.

We are a married couple but I am filing by myself. We have NO joint debts and the house is in his name only, as is one of our two cars.

Since the house is not in my name, do I get $1000 AND the additional $4000 for non-homestead suits or only the $1000?

He actually found out for me and called to let me know. I'm really impressed. My meeting was at the end of last week and he called Monday morning. He's not been paid a cent.

The answer: this has been challenged and the ruling was that a married but filing alone whose spouse owns their home only gets $1000.

Well, poop. I was really hoping for the $5000 total. Oh well. At least I know my lawyer follows through with his bankruptcy clients.

Feeling Overwhelmed

2010-02-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

There has to be a good way to figure out switching over bank accounts.

My fear is that I'm going to set up a payment in the account before my husband's source of income switches over.

Also, because I can no longer simply transfer mortgage money from our joint account to BOA, I'm going to have to set up a whole new bill pay regime. I guess that's true for all of our utilities and such. I hope our new bank has an easy bill pay. BOA really did a great job with that feature... I paid everything on the 2nd or 16th and it worked out great.

I'm feeling overwhelmed. I think my dry-erase board and I are going to have to have some brainstorming time this afternoon.

Several "To Do List" Items Checked Off

2010-02-22T02:15:00.000-08:00

- Closed personal checking and savings account, transferred money to joint account.
- Got past six months of bank statements printed for those account, since I can't access them online anymore.
- Removed my name from my mom's checking and savings.
- Opened a new checking account (joint) at a different bank.

Remaining:

- Print out life insurance auto-debit authorization so I can change the account.
- Call VA and find out how to change bank accounts for disability.
- Call BCBS and find out how to change bank accounts.
- Add new account to PayPal.
- Change Netflix over to new account.
- Change account for YMCA.
- Make a list of payment addresses and account numbers to set up new Bill Pay at new bank.

We've decided that since it will take about a month for all of this to get taken care of, we're going to make one more payment to BOA so they can't utilize the right of offset to take money we need out of the account.

Regrets: Charging Necessities

2010-02-21T12:05:00.000-08:00

Regret #2: Charging Necessities

I learned a hard lesson after the too-big house. My husband had gotten laid off. At the time he was in charge of all our money and I wasn't really aware of our money situation. I thought we were doing fine and getting by.

We'd go out to eat or buy something new for the house. We weren't going out as often or buying as much, but we weren't cutting those things out entirely.

Turns out hubby was paying for necessities on his credit card.

Here's the thing... money is money is money. If you're eating out and need to pay your electric bill on the credit card, that doesn't make it okay. It's not okay to pay something with credit just because it's a necessity. We might as well have paid our bills with his unemployment and my paycheck and then charged all the fun stuff.

More Research

2010-02-20T16:48:00.000-08:00

Well, I can't find anything definitive and of course my card and banking account agreements are...somewhere...but this is what I've found:

- Banks commonly put a "right of set off" clause in paperwork for bank accounts. This allows them the ability to take money from one account to cover another.

- This can be done even if it's a joint bank account.

- They may or may not have to give notice in order to do this.

- They can use a personal bank account to cover a business loan or vice versa.

Doesn't really seem fair, does it?

I've found out via anecdotal stories on various forums that people have had Bank of America attach their accounts and take money out.

Yikes.

So it looks like the process of changing bank accounts will start on Monday.

Yay.

Regrets: Too Much House

2010-02-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

I've decided to start a series of posts that focuses on mistakes we've made with our money. This will help me to see patterns and learn from our past. Will it help anyone else? I'm not sure, but since there's a chance it might, here goes.

Regret #1: Too Much House

My husband and I spent our first year together living in the smallest house I've ever been in. It was a mother in law cottage behind another house, 425 square feet, with a tiny bathroom (your knees touched the door and the shower barely had enough room to turn around in), slapdash kitchen (stove burners, a sink, and a fridge), just enough room to walk around the bed, and a living room. It was tiny but we made it work. When we started having issues with our front neighbor and realized the house itself was making us sick (lots of mold) we were out of there.

We moved from there into a condo that was almost exactly twice the square footage. We had a spare bedroom which was where the laundry was and a huge bathroom. It was awesome. We should have known, however, that the extra space wasn't really necessary. The massage/meditation room turned into the piled-up-dirty-laundry room. After discovering that the space was less than ideal (landlady was subletting without permission of the owner, drug deals in the parking lot, etc.) we moved out.

Hubby called me and told me he'd found an awesome place and we'd love it. I met him and the owner with the check for our first month's rent and deposit. He had written down the wrong amount so I had to borrow $1000 from my parents in order to make the deposit, but we had to find a place right away and this place was gorgeous.

It had three bedrooms. The largest one made our bed look small and had a walk-in closet and attached bathroom. The other two shared the guest bathroom. There was also a huge office, dining room, and kitchen with breakfast nook. In the center of the house was a huge living room that led out to the lanai and beyond that was a huge back yard and lake.

We spread our stuff out. We had to purchase a washer and dryer on credit as it didn't have one. We made one bedroom our meditation room and the other our massage room. I bought a second-hand dining room table and chairs for the dining room. We upgraded to a king-sized bed. Eventually we bought a pool table and put the dining room table in the massage room.

I loved many things about that house, but it was stupid.

The first year we lived there it cost us $1000 a month plus utilities. The A/C was inefficient and our electric bills were frequently high.

After the first year he raised the rent to $1200 a month.

Now, at the time, that wasn't a horrible rent. My parents were paying $965 for a smaller 3/2 house and that was considered a fabulous rent.

The reason why it was expensive was because we didn't need the space. I wish we would have moved into a 2/1 or 2/2 apartment and saved all that money.

At the time it felt like we were gaining space we psychologically needed. We justified it by claiming that we deserved it after the year in the tiny place.

So, so wrong.

Looking back I realize that we were unable to keep our belongings organized and clean in the cottage. Dust and mold got everywhere. We didn't have room to have people over and the lack of full kitchen drove me nuts. I love to cook.

We would have been fine with a full kitchen, enough room for a table and chairs, and a better organizational system. The condo would have been perfect if we'd have been able to stay there.

I guess the moral of the story is that we need to really figure out what is bothering us about a situation before we try to fix it.

Our Big Issue

2010-02-20T07:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, yikes. This is the big one.

My mother was concerned that if something happened to her that I couldn't get to her money. She wanted to make sure I had access. So, a few years ago, she put me on her accounts.

She filed bankruptcy in 2005 after my father died. She's on a very limited fixed income (SS, and as a SAHM for most of my life, it's not much) and has scraped and saved as much as she could to come up with what she calls her "burying money".

Well, she's saved more than she needs for that. And the problem is that technically it's "my" money. My name is on it. I could write a check with it or use a check card or simply transfer it to my own account at any time.

Trustees don't care about intent. It's money that they could legally take to pay off my unsecured debt.

I will NOT screw my mom over.

I asked her if she was mad. She's not. I feel horrible. However, I did actually get some advice from the lawyer about ways to protect it.

Option 1: Open a new account, without my name, and wait a year to file.

This isn't really an option for us. If nothing else works, we'll have to make it work, but I don't see us waiting that long.

Option 2: They can't really do anything if she spends the money.

According to the lawyer they can't do anything if she decides to spend the money. If she prepays her end of life expenses, pays off her car, etc. they can't do anything about it.

I hate telling her she has to spend the money she's saved. And any money she has after that is possibly at risk, at least until our filing date. After that he said we could win the lottery and they can't touch it. The filing date is the day they go by.

I hope to do some more research and come up with some better options. I'm just not sure how that will work.

Lawyerly Advice: Where to bank

2010-02-19T15:28:00.000-08:00

(This is a paraphrased conversation that I had with my lawyer. It is not ME giving advice, so don't take it as such and always consult your own legal counsel.)

"Is there anything that I need to know that haven't asked, or that trips up most people?"

"Don't bank where you owe money."

"Oh. Crap."

"If you don't pay a bill the bank could, in theory, take money out of any of your other accounts. I've seen it happen where suddenly a couple couldn't pay their rent or buy groceries because the bank took all their money to balance and cover the other account."

This is a problem.

We bank at Bank of America and they are my largest creditor. I owe just over $16,000 at 15.99% in a Gold Options loan. My payment is $350 a month.

I could continue to pay it to avoid having to switch banks, but that's throwing money we need away. Eep.

Going into the account each month is my husband's disability payment (the longest and hardest to change) and his paycheck (easy to change).

Coming out of that is all of our billpay payments (not too hard to change, just have to make sure we don't miss any), our three life insurance premiums (I already have the form, just need to fax it), our health insurance (a little harder, but also just a fax), Netflix (easy), and my web hosting (connected to paypal, so I have to change that over, but not too hard).

The hard thing is going to be closing the old accounts, opening a new one, and making sure things get paid when there's money. The disability is going to be challenging if it doesn't get moved over.

*sigh*

I know this will be work. I know it is. But it's little things like this that are more about coordinating twenty pieces of paperwork that are going to annoy me.

I found out that it will take about a month to go over the paperwork once I turn it in. Both the lawyer and his trustee/lawyer partner meet with me, revise, meet with me, revise, etc. until it's perfect.

I have to wait until we get our tax refund to do that, because if we file prior they will seize the money, rather than being able to use it to pay the lawyer's fee.

And also before I pay so much as a retainer I have to figure out how to deal with our major issue (but that's another post).

He did say that if I was to take one thing out of the whole meeting it would be to not bank where we have debt. The second thing would be to not file for bankruptcy until we've gotten our refund in our hands.

Meeting with Second Lawyer

2010-02-19T06:00:00.000-08:00

I met with the second lawyer today, and he's the one I'm going to go with.

Board Certified? Yes, over 14 years

Free Consult? Yes

Consult Time Allotted: 60 minutes

Consult Time Actual: 90 minutes

I was met by his wife who I had previously talked to on the phone. She struck me as a motherly but no-nonsense kind of gal with an easy smile and a head full of facts. She gave me a stack of paperwork to fill out.

The other attorney had me fill out paperwork, but it was all about his office and fees and such. This one actually asked me questions. Lots and lots of questions. I read and write fast and it still took me 10 minutes, most of which was checking "yes" or "no" boxes.

She took my forms and told me he'd be with me in just a minute. He was true to her word.

He was much warmer than the other guy. He smiled, had a sense of humor, and struck me as an actual person who saw me as a person in return. He answered all of my questions (and then some).

They charge $1500 for their services.

I felt very comfortable with him. I think if I had interviewed 10 lawyers, I would have picked his personality and experience. There are (factually) three board-certified attorneys in the area. The first one I won't work with, the one today, and another who works with creditors rather than filers.

He will not be at my 341 meeting. He works with two other lawyers, one of whom has worked (and still works part time) as a trustee. I'll be meeting all of them and they'll be fully knowledgeable of my case. It saves him the drive to Tampa everyday. The man he works with (the trustee) comes into the office a few days a week, the woman (also board certified) works and lives in Tampa.

I'm going to put some of my issues and advice he gave in upcoming posts.

Link to Middle District FL and Some Amazon Resources

2010-02-18T11:35:00.000-08:00

I'm not thinking about filing for myself, but I found a resource on amazon.com for DIY law forms and instructional books. I'm not sure what this form packet contains that couldn't be found for a free search online... I've found the middle-Florida website to be very comprehensive. (http://www.flmb.uscourts.gov)

Bankruptcy, Do It Yourself (Nolo Press Self-Help Law Books)